Birthday Dreamin' -- by Robin

What have you dreamt about doing that you wish you could make happen?

A friend raised the question this week, as I pondered how to celebrate my birthday this summer. This summer? - you're probably saying. I know...I'm thinking WAY ahead, but time goes fast, and it is important to me. I want to mark this particular occasion in a way that feels as satisfying as possible.

Why? Because I'll be hitting yet another milestone. Reaching another decade. And, while I'm grateful, it is a bit hard to swallow, I must admit. I can't quite say it out loud yet. February 11 will be my half birthday...not that I'm counting. :)

So, what to do? How to make it a super cool occasion? One where the excitement outweighs the fact that I feel like I'm aging.

One friend suggested I consider a retreat or spa visit to Tuscany. Sounds tempting.

Another gal mentioned Prague and Berlin. I am interested in Prague. Don't know much about Berlin.

I, myself, am curious about a retreat I had read about in Sedona. But, it will be scorchingly hot there in August.

So, I bought the book 1,000 PLACES TO SEE IN THE USA AND CANADA BEFORE YOU DIE....and I'm perusing it nightly. (I should buy an edition re: overseas as well, if there is one.)

I read about an annual art show in August in Laguna Beach, CA that struck a chord. But, do I really need to go to CA for an art show? (one friend pointed out.)

The same friend suggested I might look at the website Homeaway.com where you can sublet someone's residence, thereby making it a more authentic experience than staying in a hotel. And, maybe I'd want to do that and get a place in Manhattan? she said. I had shared with her that I always regretted not having had the experience of living in the city back in my single days, and perhaps and this would satisfy that urge and curiosity?!

So, I started browsing the site and came upon on a couple of apartments that readily grabbed me. What part of town would I want to stay in? And, what's it like to sleep in someone else's bed? I'd bring my own Egyptian cotton Ralph Lauren sheets, no doubt. And, I am picky about my mattresses. I hate memory foam. I'm a pillow top kinda gal, but I wouldn't be toting my own feather bed, so I'd have to be accepting. The older I get, the more I appreciate my own creature comforts. Would I want a terrace? A gym? What else? Air conditioning for sure, in summer.

It would certainly be an adventure, and I could use that.

There are so many neighborhoods in Manhattan, each with a distinct feel. Do I have a favorite? Depends on what you want to do I guess.

I like Chelsea. I love the West Village. But, how would I want to spend my days and nights, aassuming I'd be there alone? I'd have to arrange child care with Marc, my husband, for Seth....if we can swing it. No doubt he wouldn't be entirely thrilled, but hopefully he'd respect and somewhat understand my need for this experience.

I adore theatre. I'm thinking I might want to be in the Times Square area and see lots of shows.....though some shows play downtown too....and I'm not wedded just to Broadway.

I'd like to consider taking a class. Definitely shop. Eat out. But, if I were to act as if I live there, what would my daily existance be? Certainly I'd bring my computer, as I'd want internet access. But, I wouldn't want to be on the web as much as I am now because then I'd just be in the apartment all the time and defeat the purpose of being in Manhattan.

Would I plan out my activities in advance? That would make sense. How long would I go for? A week?

It's something to think about. And, it does kinda get me excited, which is the whole idea.

Is it crazy, though, since I live in NY? Would I wish I went overseas once my birthday passes? Maybe I can just celebrate the whole year and take various trips (if we could afford it)? Now, that's a thought.

And, how would it feel if I'm in the city (or anywhere) without Seth and Marc? The point would be to reconnect with myself and a desire I've always had. I'm sure I'd miss them...but it could be a good growth experience....and hopefully we'd all appreciate each other all the more once reunited. That's not a bad thing.

Who knows?! One day, when we're empty nesters, Marc and I might get a place in the city. I do think about that. Though, there is something to be said for having a lovely community summer pool and being surrounded by trees as we are in this neighborhood. But, life in the suburbs isn't always stimulating (to me). I suppose there's no one entirely perfect place, which is why some people have summer homes.

In the meantime, one can dream, and I'll be doing a lot of that between now and August.

Stay tuned. And, feel free to share any ideas with me! Or you own personal experiences about how you've marked birthdays to make them feel extra special. I'd love to hear them.

Pool Life Lessons - by Robin Gorman Newman

I'm so proud of Seth.

He passed the deep water swim test at camp this week, and it meant so much to him and all of us. We're going to go out for a celebratory dinner tonight. He didn't pass the first time, and I so admire his persistence and desire to make it happen. I don't think he ever doubted that eventually he would get there. He has the right attitude, and I hope he can ultimately apply it in all areas of his life.

We've been spending a lot of time at our local pool, in addition to him swimming at his day camp, and he's made huge progress. It's amazing to watch his development. From one day to the next, things he wouldn't do last week, he's now doing without fear, projecting total confidence. It's an inspiration.

I am learning to do laps myself this summer. Working on my breathing now, which has been a challenge. But, I know I'll get there.

Yesterday in the pool, I was speaking with a veteran swimmer who comes religiously the same time each day to swim for at least half an hour. I watch him with awe and aspire to follow in his swim strokes one day. We don't usually talk because he swims as if on a mission. But this time, we chatted a bit as he came up for air, and we got on the subject of kids and how it's ideal to learn to do certain things when you're young. Granted, not that I'm old at 48, but as he pointed out, the older you are, the more you might be riddled with fear. And, he's right. I don't have a comfort level in the deep water, though I'm working on it. And, I don't envision ever jumping off a diving board....though I never say never.

But, it's not just about swimming.

It's amazing how kids fully embrace most new experiences, and as adults, we might sometimes hem 'n haw over them, wondering how they fit into our expectations of what we think the experience will be like. And, if you're like me, it's so easy to over think a situation. And, nothing will instill more fear in you than what you conjure up before even embarking on the experience. You could love it and be totally surprised. If you had asked me a few years ago if I'd ever put my face in the water, I would have answered with a resounding "no."

I don't expect to learn to ski at this point in my life. Nor, do I have the desire.

I don't plan to jump out of a plane.

But, I do still yearn for new experiences. It's never too late to learn.

Perhaps snorkeling?

Taking an acting class?

Hmmm...what else?

What do you think about learning or trying something new at this point in your life?

One of my single love coaching clients told me this week that she might sign up for a tarot card reading class in the fall.

That sounds intriguing.

The possibilities for learning are endless.

Another mom I know is studying the Torah.

New experiences help keep life fresh.

I'm wondering what's next on my learning agenda.

How about you?

Another's Shoes

I feel like I have a new lease on domesticity at the moment.

We are construction free today....and looks like tomorrow as well.

As much as we want our long-awaited basement construction project to continue moving along, I am thrilled. Elated, actually...to be getting a temporary respite.

I had no idea what this experience would entail before we broke ground. Kinda reminds me of parenting and having surgery. I found myself likening it to both the other day when venting to a friend.

It's funny how almost everyone will say things like: It's just your basement. It's gonna be so great. At least it's not an upper floor. Better in summer than winter. Etc.

Their goal is to comfort you, but it doesn't necessarily work unless they've lived it. No matter what they say, until you have the same or at least a very similar experience, you truly don't know what it's like to walk in that person's shoes.

We can anticipate an experience all we like and conjure up images of what we think it will be...or what we hope it will be...but until it's here, you really don't know.

I'm not saying that becoming a mom is like taking a jackhammer to the floor or putting up sheetrock, but it is a huge unknown until you're in it. And, no doubt has possibly conjured up feelings and emotions you didn't see coming.

And, think about it. If you've ever had a surgery (which I have), there can be unforeseen matters in the recovery and beyond that doctors don't always advise you of.

My house is having surgery at present. We've already had days without phone service, cable problems, plumbing challenges, extra expenses, and we're not that far along yet. No one said to expect this, though knowing what I know now, it does seem somewhat inevitable.

I know I'll get through it. My son is loving it....as I wrote previously...he's a Bob the Builder in the making.

My husband is fairly tolerant of it. But, he's in his office all day outside of the home. Me, I feel like the ringleader for all of the various workers whose personal lives I'm gradually getting to know. While I have no desire to walk in the work boots of these men, I do give them credit for putting in hard days of manual labor, often in a quest to provide for their families, I have learned. And, given the state of the economy, most are grateful to be employed at this time, even if on a project basis.

I'm looking out my kitchen window as I write this. They predict on 'n off thunderstorms today. I've been debating if I might take a quick run over to the local pool and get in a quick swim before I head to the gym. But, it's somewhat overcast here in NY. I do yearn, though, to walk in my beach sandals at the moment. These are the only shoes I care to wear for now. So, we'll see if the clouds drift away.

A Sandwich Generation Day: Cycles of Life

I have blogged on this subject before, and at the risk of being redundant, I feel the need to share my experiences of yesterday.

I am calling it a true "Sandwich Generation" Day. And, I wonder if you can relate. I'd love your feedback and to hear your experiences if you'd like to share.

Like many, I'm sorry to see summer come to an end. We had such a blast at our community pool, and I will really miss it.

Not only do I find the change of season a bit challenging, but yesterday, and this whole week, for that matter, I find myself in a somewhat conflicted emotional state.

Seth started Kindergarten today, and I took him to meet his teacher and to see the classroom and classmates. It feels surreal that he has hit this stage of his education. He loved the school, and got particularly thrilled when he asked the teacher if they go on class trips. She said yes, and the first trip is to a firehouse. Well...she couldn't have said anything better for Seth. Firehouses are his most favorite place in the world.

I am both excited for him and a little melancholy that he is growing up so fast. Part of me likes that there are more and different experiences we can have together, yet I like to cuddle with my little buddy.

It just gets me thinking about how fast time goes in general, and the cycles of life.

After returning from Seth's school, we met my dad at the diner for lunch. He was celebrating his 90th birthday! G-d bless him. I am so eternally grateful to have my dad in my life, despite his health challenges and not feeling up to par. I lost my mom 10 years ago, so his presence in my family's life is all the more treasured. And, my sister and I are planning a surprise birthday luncheon for him this Saturday, with family and friends. I want to savor our time together.

Such major milestones in the life of my son and dad this week!

Leaves me with a lot to think about. But, since I am the queen of overthinking, I'm keeping myself busy so I'm not too alone with my thoughts. The last thing I want to do is get teary eyed, though sometimes a good cry is the best release.

I am both sad and happy. I want to take note and rejoice in each upbeat moment and not let my emotions get the better of me.

Have you ever felt this way?

Hold that Vacation Thought....

Seth's last day of summer camp is today. Where does time go? June and July totally flew, and before you know it, he'll be in pre-K in September.

We leave in a week for what has become our annual family trip upstate NY. We vacation with my dad, my sister, her husband and her two kids. It's a special bonding time for Seth and his cousins who he seldom gets to see since they are on the competitive tennis circuit.

Our vacation spot offers a fun kiddie camp. In past years, it's been up for grabs whether Seth would go into the camp or not. If he elects not to, it changes the whole dynamic of the trip for Marc (my husband) and I. I like to use, at least some of the time away, as an opportunity to stir up my creative juices. It's such a beautiful place, and I try to hide in one of the many secluded thatched huts perched high on a cliff around the lake, and disappear into my own thoughts. Something I seldom get to do at home, with all the clutter of every day busy life. I bring books I've been longing to peruse, and several journals, and let the words and thoughts flow. Amazing how effortless it is when outside your home environment, far from your TO DO list and distraction.

I wish I could bottle the feeling I have while on vacation. One year I bought one of those snow globes and put it on my desk at home. I'd shake it up and watch the flakes circulate, and think positive thoughts about my time away. For the moment, it brought back a special feeling of calm, but it was all too fleeting.

Breaks are so very important. As busy as we all are, it's so easy to get into a rut.

Is it possible to take home your vacation mindset and somehow conjure it up in your everyday life? I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.