Back-to-School Makes Parents Want to Sing! by Cara Meyers

Many of you may remember the Staples commercial several years back. It showed a man riding on a shopping cart, tossing school supplies for his children into the cart, as the cart flew down the isles. In the background of the commercial, the holiday song, “It’s the MOST wonderful time of the year!,” was playing and this man’s face was filled with glee with his children scowling as they shuffled behind him! I don’t even think I had a child at that time, but that commercial stuck with me and now resonates with me since my son is going back to school, entering first grade today!
I have also been hearing about and seeing internet postings of some of the most bizarre school supply requests you could possibly imagine! (Contac Brand CLEAR contact paper anyone?). So I just had to write my own silly version of a different holiday song, tying the remembrance of the Staples commercial in with some of the most incomprehensible school supply lists I have seen!

In honor of all the parents who are sending their children back to school today and are actually thankful that school is back in session, I have taken the liberty to modify a different holiday song. I dedicate it to my son, who is returning back to school today too.
(To be sung to the tune of “A Partridge in a Pear Tree):

Before the first day back to school, my teacher sent to me,
a letter with supplies I’d need:

12 #2 sharpened pencils, (Dixon brand; please sharpen at home EACH DAY)
11 pens for writing (Bic brand suggested, blue, black, red and green)
10 colored markers (in original colors only, please)
9 sticky glue sticks (30 gm size only)
8 spiral notebooks (8 mm ruled, 70-100 sheets each)
7 sets of crayons (only Crayola brand!)
6 EXPO dry erase chisel tip markers (Low odor/darker colors)
5 DIFFERENT COLOR 2 POCKET FOLDERS!
4 erasers (Sanford Magic Rub brand only, in white)
3 bottles of glue (Elmer’s ONLY, 4 oz., no larger)
2 art smocks (made from cutting up 2 of Daddy’s button-down shirts - sorry Daddy!)
and
ONE BIG BULGING BACKPACK!!

So, to my son, I say, I love you and enjoy your first day back! And to all of the other children starting back to school today, have a great first day of school! I know I will!

Back to School -- by Cara Meyers

I always loved the “newness” and anticipation of going back to school when I was young! Fresh, crisp notebooks! Perfectly sharpened pencils! New pens and pencil cases! Even the annual shopping trip for my new school “wardrobe” excited me! That is until I realized that it would be 85 degrees the first day of school and I wouldn’t be able to wear that perfect pink and burgundy wool dress with the pretty ruffles, matching tights and coordinating shoes!

But the anticipation of the new school year is no longer the same for many children and many families. Yes, a trip to Staples can not only prepare you with eighteen types of different highlighters, 6 types of rulers, every type of pen, pencil, crayon, marker, and dry erase implement manufactured. For many children, though, the new school year will bring stress.

Almost an insurmountable amount of stress.

More and more school systems are trying so hard to improve their national “ranking” that I truly feel that the individual student becomes morphed into part of a statistic. And to make matters worse, there is increasing evidence that public schools, in general, are becoming, to a greater extent, geared towards girls. Rough and tumble is sadly discouraged in the classrooms. Even as early as Kindergarten, children are expected to read and write almost fluently. And two hours of homework is almost the “norm.”

Interestingly, more books are being written about how and why boys are not meeting the “standards” set by their schools. At my bedside I have books titled, “Boys Adrift: The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men”; “The Trouble with Boys”; “When Labels Don’t Fit”; “Raising Cain.” Why is all of this emphasis on boys? And why is it that these books suggest that either boys must conform to the rigidity of their school system, not conform and risk failing out of school, or try to reach that one teacher in probably a thousand who is willing to go the extra mile and try to pull the male students back into the curriculum through innovative techniques?

Let’s face it, school curriculums are now designed for girls. Girls who will sit still and take notes and disrupt less. Girls who are more attentive. Girls who have the ability to sit for greater lengths of time. In the 1970s, more than 60% of boys were the ones going off to college. Today, 70% are girls. What is this telling us about how our national school system regards boys?
I’m not looking forward to the start of school this year. I have a son who will be entering first grade. He will need special speech and language services to help him get through the year, but will that be enough? Will he still be falling through the cracks even though he is as smart as a whip in his knowledge of science and math? I don’t know. What I do know is that I will be working very hard as his advocate. Going to meetings, playing phone tag with people who see my son simply as part of a “statistic.” And making darn sure that he gets all that he deserves to prove he can be the bright, vibrant, successful individual I know he will be! But first the start of a new school year. New backpack, new folder, markers, pencils, pencil case... sans the excitement I once enjoyed and embraced.