GUEST BLOG POST: "FORWARD" - by Gigi Garner, author, Girl Talk; Celebrities and Other Extraordinary Women Share Their Secrets

(I call this the “FORWARD” because this book is about moving ahead, learning, evolving and bettering ourselves and each others’ lives.)

I am not a professional interior designer, teacher, nanny, travel agent, cook, housekeeper, gardener, or beauty consultant. I am probably just like you and every other woman out there who must rise to the occasion and be all things to all people, but we seem to crave enlightenment anyway. Women have found that we can be experts on a lot of subjects that have to do with life in general. We can be surprisingly resourceful when we need to be. We know what we like and why we like it. Through trial and error, we gain a sense of what works, what’s great, and what we are crazy about! We love to share these little tidbits of information that we have acquired with our girlfriends, and we are always anxious to hear the benefit of our friends’ hard-earned knowledge as well.

Some of us are particularly guilty of cruising the “superhighway to Betterville.” Our close friends always notice what’s new, what we’ve changed or what we’ve moved. How many times have you been in a ladies room, doctors office or just minding your own business when one of ‘your tribe’ blurts out, “Where did you get that?” When women get together, either stranger or friend, we are compelled to exchange ideas and share our knowledge. And there are always tons of questions floating around our heads like, “Does that no- ironing spray actually work? Do you know of any antibacterial soap that doesn’t smell like medicine? How do I keep ‘critters’ from getting under our outside hot tub? How do you put your makeup on in a dark motel room without looking like a cast member from Cats?”

I decided to go on a grand scale fact-finding mission. I asked as many savvy women as I could find, “What little secrets do you have locked away that make your life better? What are your tricks of the trade? What neat little confidences have you learned over your life that you will share with the rest of us gals? How do you make your home your sanctuary and haven?” Well, I ended up with a whole slew of interesting answers and decided to write a book to share my discoveries. The book features everything from makeup secrets to good advice, travel tips to reading recommendations, quality pet supplies to motivating techniques and household hints to traditions…from one woman to another. I interviewed, investigated, researched, surveyed and just simply picked the brains of the most together women I could find. Everyone from the famous, such as Jamie Lee Curtis, Kim Alexis, Lucie Arnaz, Joan and Melissa Rivers, June Lockhart, Naomi Judd, to the just ‘famous at home!’ They allowed me to delve into their intimate space to uncover the details that make their lives better, more enjoyable and truly wonderful!

This is a generous gift we can give each other! So enjoy, and pass it on sister! Here is a sample of the MOMMY TIPS section of Girl Talk:

“DO THE MATH” by Joan Rivers, Mom & Grandma
When my daughter Melissa was in her terrible teens, my husband and I decided to give her a little lesson in freedom and some learned responsibility. We did not give her an official curfew like the rest of her friends. The only stipulation was that she had to be home eight hours before she had to leave the house again. So, if she had a game the next day, she would have to figure out how long it took to get to and from where she was going and count back eight hours. It gave her a false sense of having no formal time to be home but she really did. It worked beautifully. No rebellion here!

"THE SECRET DISH" by Mary Oberstat, Busy Mom of Three Boys
When my three boys were little, they hated vegetables like most children. I had a very difficult time trying to get them to eat anything healthy. One night, when the twins were about three and our oldest son was about six, we all sat down for dinner and I placed one of those covered metal Chinese compote serving dishes in between my husband and myself. Well, the boys' eyes grew as big as saucers, and they all asked,"What's in there?" I replied, "Oh, that's adult food, and you can't have any until you are older." They cried, "We want some!" Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. Child Psychology 101. They were putty in my hands!
I didn't give them any food from the dish that night, but their curiosity about the covered secret dish, and what was in it, ran rampant! Finally, I let them try something (a vegetable) from the dish. They loved it and wanted more! So gradually, I would put more and different healthy foods in the secret dish, until I could get them to eat virtually anything out of it! It worked like a charm! I recommend this to all new mothers.

"PARKING FOR TWO" by Kerry Buckley, Investment Banker
Near the end of my sister-in-law's pregnancy, she asked me if I could go with her to the grocery store to help her do her weekly grocery shopping. Of course, any excuse to shop is good for me so, I picked her up and we went to a market that I had never been to before because it was close to her house. Well, lo and behold like a beacon in the night and an answer to a prayer, right in front of the store there was a special parking space saved for expectant mothers! We almost couldn't believe ours eyes when we saw the pink sign with the stork on it.

I asked the store manager, "Whose great idea was it to put that sign there?" and he told me it was a woman named Ashley Caldwell and she is the owner's daughter. He also told me that many of the elderly customers hated the idea and had complained, and that I was the only person who had said I liked the idea. I was in shock. I couldn't believe it. Excuse me but, don't any of these people have children? Don't they remember what it's like to try to walk, breathe, shop and sleep with a whole baby in your belly? Are charity and sympathy completely lost? I realize and respect the hardships experienced by the handicapped and elderly but, they still have some twenty odd handicapped parking spaces left.

All I can say is that I believe that every self respecting woman should ask the management of their supermarket or grocery store to include one of these parking spaces in front of their stores! They have made two customers for life!

"THE MAGIC BOX" by Gigi Garner
Most kids are fascinated by magic, and when I was a year old, I was no exception. Like most children, going to grandma's house was a real treat. My grandma was and still is a very creative person. One of my fondest memories when I was a child was going to grandma's house and playing a game she made up for all of her grandchildren. It was called "The Magic Box," and she would keep it high in her bedroom closet. She would take the magic box down and secretly put all kinds of things inside of it, and then we would stick our hands inside and touch and feel the objects to try to identify them. The real magic was that it was just a simple box with a hole in the top, various little objects, and a piece of black felt over it, but grandma made it mysterious and fun! Obviously, this was before the invention of video games, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. There is something to be said for good old-fashioned fun and ingenuity! Fun things to put in the box : A toothbrush, a jelly bean, a cotton ball, a wishbone, tweezers, a nickel, a troll, a bobby pin, a spoon, a coffee bean, a thimble, a rose petal, a rubber band, etc.

For more on Gigi Garner, visit http://www.GigiGarner.com. Gig grew up in West Los Angeles where she attended Westlake School for Girls and USC Film School. She had studied/lived abroad in Germany and England and had two record deals with a top twenty single in Europe. Gigi was also hostess on a live Thames television show for teens in London. She was a model, commercial actor, and even a licensed Private Investigator like her Father, actor James Garner, played on his TV show " THE ROCKFORD FILES" ~ She speaks three languages, is scuba certified and is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. You may purchase her books on amazon.com.

Her first title "THE COP COOKBOOK" was on a best seller list!
http://www.amazon.com/Cop-Cookbook-Arresting-Recipes-Favorite/dp/1558535365/re

To order "Girl Talk", visit.. http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Talk-Celebrities-Extraordinary-Secrets/dp/158985052

GUEST BLOG POST -- by Sally Shields, "The In-Law Expert"

I got married in December 1999 when I was 32, and the first thing my new MIL (mother-in-law) said to me was, "The only thing I want is grandchildren! I'm the ONLY person in Ohio without grandchildren!" Well, if THAT didn't put the pressure on, I don't know what did! But, of course, I have a stubborn nature, and the declaration just made me want to wait even longer before procreating. I told both my MIL (as well as my very own mother who was being a little less obvious) in no uncertain terms, "Don't bother me until I'm 38!" After-all, I was in the midst of a great career as a jazz pianist, traveling the world, and having a wonderful time with my bass player husband!

But, soon after, 9/11 came along... it was a three-prong blow... my manager was going through a divorce and got fired by the representing agency. At the same time, the jazz division of the record label I was recording for folded, and the last recording of the 3-CD deal? Defunct. The world in NYC was in shambles, and moving forward as a self-promoting artist seemed both trivial and trite. All signs were pointing towards a change. It was 2001, and I was 34. I thought to myself, "What is the most meaningful thing I can do at this point?" I decided that getting pregnant was a good move, and as a side benefit, I could win points with my MIL! And yes, it was the greatest decision I could have made.

But shortly after my daughter's birth in 2002, the problems started to occur. Big problems, big misunderstandings. Big hurtful fights that ended in tears, with my MIL storming out of the house, thinking that I didn't care about her, or the baby clothes she bought, or anything she had to say. You see, even though I just had a C-section, was suffering from post-partum depression and sleep depravation, I had unwittingly failed to open the bag of infant onsies and cute baby gear that was still sitting unopened in the corner of the room, and my MIL took it as a big DIS. My dear MIL assumed that I knew these things that were so obvious to her... dressing the newborn immediately with her gifts, being concerned about cats smothering a new baby (we had 2), when to put oatmeal in the bottle ( I breast-fed), the importance of a sleeping schedule in a crib (I slept with my baby on demand), and a world of other things she was putting her two cents in about, that left us both in tears, and feeling like enemies on a battlefield!

I was left scratching my head, thinking, where is the manual for this?!!! So I started to jot down all the troublesome incidents that would pop into my head in regards to my MIL, and came up with a rule and a solution to deal with each and every one. When I put a few of these rules into practice (and saw that they actually worked), I thought maybe I could help save others years of needless contention!

By the time I had my son at age 39, I developed a few tricks up my sleeve. I'd like to share some questions I've received from readers of my book, The Daughter-in-Law Rules, and the answers may prove helpful:

Q: My baby is only a week old but my MIL already wants her to have a sibling to play with! Is she nuts?

A: If your twinkle toes has yet to shed her umbilical cord, your mother-in-law may nonetheless put in an application for a new addition by way of a statement such as, “I can’t wait until she has a little brother or sister to play with!” Say how eager you are to have another. Smile coyly and mention that you’re already working on it. She will be hard-pressed not to picture you and her son having relations (don’t think of a pink elephant, okay?) and she will most likely not ask you again... at least for the next couple of months, that is!

Q: My MIL complains that she doesn’t get as much time with my kids as my own mother. Well, that might be true, but what can I do? She lives 7 hours away!

A: As soon as your kid is able to carry on a “conversation,” dial up your MIL and let the two yak away. Do this every few days. When it’s time to hang up, if you are busy, quickly say how much the little one misses her and that you can’t wait to see her as well. She’ll be very happy to stay connected with your little ones, even if it’s through the phone.

Q: I spend hours taking home videos and even learned to send digital pictures to my MIL over the Internet. But she complained that she’s the only person in Ohio that doesn’t get professional shots to hand out to her friends at Bingo. I just can’t win!

A: Spring for professional shots of your child. Make lots of copies (especially ones with the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or a Hanukkah Dreidel, and send your MIL several wallet sizes to use like trading cards with her Bingo buds. Mom truly enjoys seeing your bloom in bunny ears with a blue background, holding a giant carrot. And so will you! You may even get bamboozled into buying every image in the book, complete with Sepia hues, flower borders and glam shots with soft-focus feature. So be extra-prepared to whip out your credit card and make sure your package includes the CD-ROM so that you can replicate all of the above on your printer at home as well!


Q: I have fun doing art projects with my kids, and thought my MIL would appreciate the fact that I saved them for her. But she just threw them away. What’s up with THAT?!

A: Pick out some recent drawings or finger paintings, and dispatch them to your MIL. However, do not present her with anything that includes traces of your creative input or she may refuse it immediately. For example, if your child’s compositions end up resembling things such as puppies or frogs, you may feel compelled to color them in, embellish, and label them as such. Instead, provide Mom with the scribbles alone. These are the ones that will invariably end up framed at her house. “Ahhh, now that’s TALENT!” she’ll proclaim proudly.

Q: When I’m visiting my MIL, all she wants to do is feed my child JUNK. I can’t stand it. But if I say anything, we end up in a big fight, or giving each other the silent treatment. HELP!

A: If you notice your MIL bestowing Wonder Bread with butter on your little bottomless pit a few times a day, just remember that your husband eventually grew up and seems to be in relatively good health. Although you may feel frustrated and be compelled to suggest, “I would prefer if you didn’t feed her that stuff at every meal, okay?” better to let your MIL indulge your child’s requests for the nutritionally devoid foodstuffs. Otherwise, your kid will soon come crying, “Grammy said that you said that I can't have white bread with butter ANYMORE!” forcing you to relent sheepishly, “Well, she can have it at least once a day, I guess the stuff won’t kill her!” Don't make a federal issue out of it, as your pipsqueak will eventually be back to eating apples and whole wheat bagels upon Mom’s departure!

In Conclusion:

The bottom line is to really and truly learn to appreciate your MIL. After all, she did give birth to your husband, and you are forever thankful to her for that! We can all grow much closer to our MIL's through our children!

I leave you with this wish: that you may develop a respectful and loving relationship with your MIL and learn to appreciate her for who she is, where she came from and what she is to become. Take heed to one of the great spiritual laws of success: The quickest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want. Be a loving, kind, generous, open-hearted, sensitive person, and the world will reflect that back to you—even in the form of your mother-in-law—and she may just surprise you and turn out to be an ally and a friend. Mine certainly did!

Please visit Sally “The In-Law Expert” Shields, a later mom, speaker and author of The Daughter-in-Law Rules on the web at www.TheDILRules.com for contest giveaways, free bonus gifts,The DIL Rules newsletter, free music … and more!

Surprising Discoveries -- by Jamie

A few days ago, my daughter, Jayda, turned 2-1/2, and, just as she did from the start, my willful child continues to keep me on my toes, and surprise me.

On the morning of May 18, 2007, after experiencing a rather easy pregnancy, I found myself at my OB/GYN’s office, because I was a few days past my due date. At the end of the exam, my doctor instructed me to go to the hospital at 6 p.m. that night so he could induce me; he said it was unwise for me to wait any longer, and that it was time for Jayda to come into the world. But, at brunch with my parents just a few hours later, I started to feel cramps. The cramps persisted, and then worsened on the ride home, and later that afternoon, when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I agreed to go to the hospital early. There, I discovered I was, indeed, in labor—and there would be no need for an inducement.

After settling into the hospital, and receiving a much-needed epidural, I assumed I could relax for awhile. But shortly after I started to get comfortable, everything went awry. My fetal monitor went off, the attending nurse covered me with an oxygen mask, and before I knew it, my hospital room had turned into an episode of ”ER”—with doctors frantically rushing in and wheeling me out to an OR. I found out later—after Jayda was quickly brought into this world by an emergency C-section—that my monitor had indicated that my daughter had gone into distress, and my swift doctors had jumped into action and saved her. So, what started as a possible induction and continued as a “normal” labor, was resolved with a C-section; even at birth, Jayda was full of surprises.

The morning of Jayda’s 2-1/2 birthday began with my daughter and me cuddling in my bed. As usual, Jayda prodded me to “talk about our day,” and I gave her a preview of her upcoming school day, as well as our afterschool activities, which involved a play date. When I was finished, she gave me a hug and declared, “Mommy, you my best friend!” It was one of those unexpected gems that often comes out of Jayda’s mouth these days—a surprising reminder of what a sweet, articulate little person my daughter is becoming.

When we got out of bed that morning, Jayda insisted on wearing underpants under her leggings. We’d been potty training for awhile, but Jayda usually ran around the house in a pair of pull-ups, or completely nude from the waist down, most mornings before we left for daycare. I relented though, helped her put on her princess undies, and took her with me on a ride to Dunkin Donuts for coffee. Then, we came home for a few hours, and Jayda remained dry the entire time. She even asked to use the potty twice, successfully, before leaving for daycare. But as I went to change her into a pair of pull ups before we left the house, she threw a fit, and refused to take off her underpants. “I a big girl now,” she declared, and, as I looked at the calendar and noticed what day it was, I couldn’t help but agree. Thus, my willful child won this battle, and sported her princess undies at daycare for the very first time.

Later that day, Jayda surprised me again, when I picked her up from daycare and found her in unsoiled clothes, still wearing her treasured underpants. She even requested that she wear her underpants to school the next day, too. My little girl really is a “big girl” now. And while I’m not surprised that Jayda is growing up, I AM surprised by how quickly it’s happening, and how determined my daughter has already become to be “her own little person.” Fortunately, it’s a person who constantly amazes me with her humor, intelligence, and sensitivity—and a person whom I love more and more each day. And while I’m not so sure she’ll think of me as her best friend forever, maybe she’ll surprise me. I sure hope so.

Dedication to My Son Turning 6 - by Cara Meyers

It all began 6 years ago, on a Tuesday evening at exactly 9:20 pm - according to my watch next to my bedside. I was reading a book, a Harry Potter book in fact, thinking, “It’s okay if I start this book now, I’ll have plenty of time during maternity leave to read the rest of it while the baby sleeps.” Well, my baby had other plans. And Harry’s story was left unread.

I had a relatively uneventful pregnancy. Especially considering that I was an “older” maternity patient at 39 with my first pregnancy. I saw my high risk doctors regularly. I never developed gestational diabetes, which they all thought I was doomed to get. They also thought I was headed for pre-eclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure in a pregnant woman) since my blood pressure was slightly elevated at the start of my pregnancy. Never happened. In fact, about the only significant thing about my pregnancy (except for periodic night legs cramps which make you want to scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs as you massage the cramp out), was that I had real, but random, contractions, starting at 34 weeks gestation. The doctors wanted me to reach 37 weeks gestation so that the baby’s lungs would be fully mature, so I was placed on “modified bed rest” and went to the doctor’s office every other day to undergo fetal monitoring.

I met their goal of 37 weeks, but I wanted my son to be born closer to 40 weeks. See, his due date was 2 days before my 40th birthday. I wanted him to be my 40th birthday present. I would never need another present again for my birthday for the rest of my life! I wanted him to be IT! However, I also didn’t want him to be born ON my birthday. I wanted his birthday to be his and his alone. I didn’t want him to feel that he had to “share” his special day, even with his mother. I prayed that he was not born after me, because then the excitement of celebrating Mommy’s birthday may overshadow his own, especially at the age he is now - the grade school years. When birthdays are magical and completely eventful and young children want it to be THEIRS, and theirs alone!

My daily prayers were finally going to be answered that fateful Tuesday evening, August 5th, 2003. My own 40th birthday was 2 days away. At 9:20pm, the first of many contractions began. I didn’t wake my husband because I knew he needed the rest for the long day ahead. So I monitored, and practiced my labor breathing techniques all night long. Finally, around 5:30 am, the contractions were 5 minutes apart and I needed my husband to call the doctor. Our son was ready to be born! Oh how I prayed he would be born that day, Wednesday, August 6th!
After 23 hours of labor, 3:45 minutes before my 40th birthday, at 8:15 pm, my gift arrived! A gift like no other I have ever had or ever will have! And he came on the best day possible, the day before MY birthday!

Every year since, when I celebrate my son’s birthday, it is as if I am celebrating my own! The planning of his parties, the invitations, the party favors, the balloons!! I have not one ounce of resentment nor care that my own birthday is the one overshadowed or overlooked! This is EXACTLY what I wanted! So…to my son who will be celebrating his 6th birthday this Thursday, Happy Birthday, my precious, beautiful, amazing boy!! I love you with all my heart, and then some! My gift!

Look at me - I'm Homer Simpson!

Ever since I got pregnant and had a baby, I crave beer. Good, cold, fancy imported beer. A substance that used to make me nauseous at the mere smell of it (a residual effect of my college days when I used to go to fraternity parties). It started in the middle of my pregnancy and I thought it would stop after I had the baby. But it hasn't. In fact, it's gotten more pronounced six months after giving birth. My husband and I are big wine drinkers and typically have a glass of wine with dinner every night. But now all I want is beer - and all that it symbolizes: a nice pick me up, transition from work day to evening relaxation (yeah, right, like that's possible with two young children), adulthood, etc.

The other thing I really craved and still do is donuts. The apple fritters from Starbucks are my particular favorite. I don't allow myself to have too many donuts now. But I do have a good beer a couple of times a week.

I realized this newfound love for beer and donuts has turned me into Homer Simpson. Who have you become since you had children?