Ringing in Change for the New Year -- by Cara

Change. It is just a simple, six letter word. But for some, it can bring on anxiety, while for others, it can evoke excitement and promise of good things to come!

I am hoping for the latter in the New Year. Not only a new year, a new decade! Ripe with opportunity to illicit change and hopefully reap the positive that flows along with it!

In Robin’s last blog, she spoke of change through getting rid of things she really didn’t need anymore; Her pig collection. Or at least a fair part of this collection. And in her blog, she spoke of change. How by “purging” part of her collection, it also freed her to open up to other things. (A cow collection, possibly?)

This past year has been an awful year for my family. My husband, my son, me, even one of our dogs, have all been diagnosed with lifelong medical problems. It is hard enough when one member of a family has to cope with the realization that they have to learn to adapt to a chronic medical condition. Imagine an entire family! And their dog!

It’s been a long, difficult year. But we made it through. Now I want change. Change for the better. I want us all to move past the anger and the grief to acceptance. And from there, I want to move forward to living our lives as happily and as productively as we each can!

Medical condition or not, I have my own plans for the new year! I want to become more involved in a business venture! I would like to do more writing, maybe take a class or two! I want to become more involved in my son’s school! Possibly volunteer as a Class Mom! (Well, okay...maybe not THAT involved! At least not yet!).

Like Robin, I, too, am ringing in change through getting rid of, contributing to charity, offering to others, things that are no longer necessary in my life. Clutter leads to chaos which leads to disharmony. I have clutter. Too much clutter. In just about every corner in my home and facet in my mind. All of it is going to be slowly dispersed with the anticipation that more harmony will ensue.

And when I found out that Robin didn’t sell, but simply gave away her pig collection, that inspired me to want to be more altruistic as well! I also want to feel my heart swell by donating items to others that I no longer have any use for! I recently gave away two iPods that my husband and I no longer used. We gave them away to friends. I was thrilled that the recipients were tremendously happy! My heart did swell! But I was also glad that, like Robin’s pigs, the iPods were going to good homes. Going to people who really wanted them and would use them and get enjoyment out of them and maybe make THEIR new year a little happier! Having two iPods sitting in a drawer was unnecessary. They, along with a lot of other items in our home, need to go elsewhere.

So, as the saying goes, change can be good! Really good! And I am looking forward to seeing that ball drop tomorrow, and cry out, “Happy New Year!!” I know my year is going to change for the better! My wish is the same for you! I wish all our members and readers a VERY Happy New Year!!

Too Sweet for Our Own Good -- by Jamie

I don’t have many vices: I’ve never smoked. I rarely drink. And I certainly don’t take drugs. I also eat very healthfully, and exercise 5-6 days a week. However, I do adore candy. Not chocolate, and nothing fancy—just crappy, commercial, sugar-infused treats! Show me a package of Swedish Fish, and I’ll inhale it. Bring me a bag of jelly beans and I won’t stop at just a handful. Things like Mike and Ikes, Tootsie Pops, Chuckles, candy corn, and even Dots are all fair game. When it comes to sugar, just a little can set me off on a calorie-laden binge. So, generally, I try to avoid it.

It has always been my intention to have my daughter, Jayda, eat as healthfully as I do. From the moment she started consuming solid foods, she became a fan of Greek yogurt, all kinds of fresh fruit, and mostly healthy treats—as I offered her homemade zucchini/carrot bread in lieu of cupcakes, and Fig Newtons instead of Oreos. I didn’t even introduce her to ice cream until she was almost two: Jayda adored yogurt with smashed berries in it so much, I figured she didn’t need strawberry ice cream in her life. But my, oh my, how things have changed!

Jayda got her first taste of a candy-like treat when she received a packet of chewy fruit snacks (made with real fruit juice, as the label touted!) at a party. She adored them, and inhaled the entire bag. Soon after, she was treated to a gummi bear at a friend’s house, and noticed the similarity—it was yummy! At the time, we were embarking on potty training, so I decided to use a gummi bear as a reward every time Jayda peed on the potty. Then, my mother added her leftover M&M’s to the bag. Soon, my smart little toddler was using the potty once for a gummi bear, and then running back to the bathroom not 10 minutes later to pee again (for an M&M this time, of course). I’d created a monster.

When Halloween rolled around, it brought with it memories of my blissful childhood candy binges. Thus, as I dug into my own bag of candy corn, I decided to let Jayda create her own wonderful memories of my favorite holiday. While we went trick or treating, I let my candy-fanatic-in-training have full control of her candy until bedtime, and she grazed through her bag of treats with my blessings. But when she woke up the next day asking for Halloween again—and tantrumed when I told her Halloween was over—I knew I had a problem. As a compromise, I doled out bits of her left-over treats when she used the potty: A piece of a Kit-Kat for one bathroom visit, a mini-Snickers for another. But as I looked at my child’s chocolate-smeared face one morning, I had to admit Jayda was consuming waaaaaay too much candy.

That’s when I decided to implement a reward chart: Every time Jayda uses the potty, she earns a sticker. After she fills a row on the chart with six stickers, she can reach into a fancy bag I created and choose a treat. The bag is filled with everything from makeup to sparkly barrettes to a Tootsie Pop and a small bag of M&Ms. In no time, Jayda was earning stickers and selecting candy from the bag. Just candy…and always candy. Even the lip gloss she’d long coveted has been brushed aside every time Jayda gets her hands on “the bag.” And when Jayda has a candy craving, and realizes she doesn’t have enough stickers on her chart to warrant some, she cries…and cries.

My daughter has been fully potty trained since Thanksgiving. She even made it into the city this week on the Long Island Railroad, and spent the day with me perusing store windows, checking out the tree, and watching the ice skaters at Rockefeller Center—happily using bathrooms wherever we went. She also made it through a trip to FAO Schwartz without asking me to buy her a single thing—except when we walked by the candy section of the store. She didn’t mind leaving FAO without a new toy, but she did want a big, swirly lollypop—and she wanted it badly.

The holidays are nearly over, and with the New Year, comes resolutions. This year, I’m resolving to get rid of Jayda’s reward chart—and the candy. Of course I’ll allow Jayda to have a lollypop now and then, or even a bag of M&Ms once a week. But her dose of daily candy has got to stop. Because no matter how I try to sugar-coat it, Jayda is her mother’s daughter…and she’s becoming a candy addict, too. And now it’s this addict’s job to teach Jayda a lesson in moderation. Maybe we’ll both learn something together!

New Year....New You?

How was your new year's eve?

We chilled at home.

I'm been fighting this marathon cold and today, after being convinced by two friends, finally got myself to the ENT doctor. Turns out I need to be on antibiotic for five days. I'm so grateful I bit the bullet and went.

How often as moms do we treat ourselves as invincible? I somehow thought, as lingering as this cold has been, that it would ultimately go away. But, one of my friends reminded me that in a perfect world, that would be true, but sometimes we need a little help.

These words hit home for me.

We all need help at times, and there's nothing wrong with asking for it or even paying for it. Do you allow yourself to ask for it? Whether it's from a mate, friend, family member, stranger...etc.

There's a lot of talk about practicing self care and how important it is. And, I totally agree. But, sometimes self care isn't just about doing for ourselves. Part of that is giving ourselves permission to reach out. Seek out connections that have meaning to us. To hire poeple (if we can afford to) to help simplify our lives.

For example, we can't effectively give ourselves a massage. (I like to treat myself periodically, since I have a bad back.)

Sometimes it's a worthwhile investment to hire a cleaning woman, if your budget allows, and you choose not to spend your time cleaning your home.

I have a friend who cuts her own hair...but I don't go that route. I don't have the ability.

Spending quiet time alone can be wonderful and beneficial, but quality time with a friend (s) means a lot too.

Are you someone who suffers in silence or do you pick up the phone and call someone you can share with?

I am the supreme multi-tasker and that lends itself to burnout.

This year, I'd like to really prioritize how I spend my time and money and decide what is most important to me. What will bring happiness and fulfillment and ideally some monetary reward.

I want to appreciate myself. Honor myself. Try to get my needs met. Seek out happiness and fun more.

I'm good at playing roles, but I want to learn to step back and grant myself more balance.

I'm watching Oprah who is talking about this, and I find her very candid and inspiring. She said the "key is putting yourself back on your own to-do list." I LOVE that.

How about you? Are you on your to-do list?