Mellow on Mother's Day

I'm under the weather today and am at home chilling. My husband took Seth to his brother's house for a mother's day brunch, and he's now at the park with Seth.

I feel like a lazy thing being at home...not even wanting to get dressed.

But, aren't I entitled? Why is it so hard for me to relax?

Yesterday I gave a talk (had to) at the Long Beach Public Library re: my book HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH. Despite being sick, I was committed, and didn't want to let them down. So, I popped my cold pills and antibiotic and promised not to breath on anyone in the audience. And, I swore I didn't have the swine flu, when someone asked.

Today, I'm just hangin' around the house. I'm trying hard to give myself permission to do nothing and to practice self care...but you can see that I'm not so great at doing that...since I'm sitting at my computer blogging about it. But, I actually thought it might help to get it out.

Do you ever feel that way as mom?! I guess we often do. Like supermom or woman. That we need to always be on the go...doing something for our family.

But, what's more important than feeling good ourselves?! You've probably heard that expression about if you're on a plane and it's going down, put your seat belt on first or grab your flotation cushion first. You won't be any good at helping someone else if you don't save yourself.

So, can I just get in the groove of being mellow today? Ha! I feel like I'm working hard at relaxing.

It's after 2pm, and I don't know how long they'll be at the park. I should enjoy the quiet in the house. It's weird because back in my single days, I relished my alone time. And, now while I often yearn for it, I don't always know what to do with it if/once I get it.

Boy....it sure can be complicated being a mom!

Hope you're having a good one!

Loving My Dad, as Mother's Day Approaches

I lost my mom 10 years ago (before I became a mom), and my dad is 90.

I've written before about sandwich generation challenges as a "later" mom, and as Mother's Day approaches, I find myself all the more grateful for my dad.

I miss my mom and think of her often. And, I admit, I get pangs of jealousy when I hear of others making plans to spend the day with their moms in a special, celebratory fashion. I so wish I could do that....even just to hear my moms voice a bit and to see her react to my son.

My senior dad stayed with us this past weekend...his live-in aide went home. Both he and Seth had bad colds, so we mostly laid low in the house, popping Vitamin C, Cold Calm Tea, etc. and lots of napping for both of them.

My dad has had multiple abdominal surgeries in the last few years, and from each, has come complications leading to yet another surgery. He's now in a place where he has daily discomfort and is seeking relief, perhaps in the form of yet another surgery (elective). I can't fathom it and am not convinced it will cure his symptoms. And, I fear for his life.

I realize at 90, he can't live forever. None of us do. But, the notion of one day being parentless is hard for me to grasp. It always has been. I've thought about it for years, particularly since I became a parent. Being a motherlesss mother has been bittersweet enough at times.

I do empathize with my dad's pain, and wish I could rid him of it. Why does the scalpel have to be an option? Can't he just pop a pill? (He's tried, and has seen countless doctors.)

In a way I feel like it's selfish of me not to support him if his choice is to have a surgery. Yet, I can't help but question it. He actually made a comment to the effect that if he were to pass away during the surgery, he wouldn't know the difference anyway since he'd be asleep. Not that he wants to die, but he doesn't fear it.

How different we are. I fear it for him and anyone I love, including myself.

Maybe my dad has the right attitude. To forge ahead....and do what it takes to try to lead a better quality of life... ideally painfree. But, at what risk?! Surgery is not the solution for all, and you never can be sure how your particular body will respond. What about the recovery which can be rough at this age!?

I guess for now I have to try to stay strong and not get all stressed about the surgical prospect.

Mother's Day is approaching, and I do want to enjoy the occasion. Both my beloved mom and dad would want that for me. Not to mention my husband, Marc, and Seth. I'm grateful to have them both. Their unconditional love and support mean the world to me.

NEWS FROM MOTHERHOODLATER.COM

In ample time for Mother's Day, I am excited to announce that www.Motherhoodlater.com has launched a Shop featuring cool, exclusive stuff for 35+ moms and others. I’d like to personally invite you to check it out, and tell friends and family.

Proceeds going toward helping support the efforts of MotherhoodLater.com, including our website, free monthly email newsletter, communities, event planning....etc.

On another note...if you're in NY, starting April 22nd, running for 8 consecutive weeks, we're hosting a workshop series featuring Dr. Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D. addressing the subject of Enlightened Parenting.

LIParentSource.com is a supporter of the event, and we're happy to have them on board. The site is your free online guide to Long Island family resources from pregnancy through the teen years. You may visit to register for the weekly e-newsletter, find coupons & discounts, events and more!

You may attend the entire workshop series, or pay as you go. There will be door prizes, light refreshments, and freebie samples for all.

We are also on the verge of lauching a tele-class series...so stay tuned for details.