Like Mother, Like Daughter? by Jamie

My daughter, Jayda, will turn three in May, and she’s been in the same daycare center since she was 3-1/2 months old. It’s a small daycare—a warm, nurturing environment where everyone knows Jayda, and she loves it there. Technically, she can stay there until she enters kindergarten, and many of her classmates will do just that. But, lately, I’ve been starting to think she needs to go somewhere new in September, where she’ll be challenged more.

My birthday is in February, and my mother started me in nursery school early, because I appeared to be very intelligent. Then, because I missed the cut-off date for public kindergarten, and my mom didn’t want to keep me in nursery school for an extra year, she put me in private kindergarten, followed by private first grade. Finally, the public school system accepted me as a 6-year-old second grader. Yes, my mother pushed me ahead—and I thrived because of it. I was always reading levels ahead of my classmates, was an overachiever throughout middle school and high school, and graduated with honors from the University of Michigan. I’m smart. And my daughter is smart, too. Along with my blonde hair, blue eyes, and passion for candy, it seems she’s inherited a bit of my intelligence.

I recently started scouting out new nursery schools for Jayda, and have been quite impressed by what I’ve seen. One place has a shiny new computer center, a large indoor padded playroom, and a small petting zoo. Another is smaller, and more worn-down, but it also has a small computer room, weekly music classes, and even teaches Spanish to 4-year-olds. I’m thrilled there are great options for us—and both places actually bus the children to school if you don’t require extended hours. These days, whenever Jayda sees a school bus drive by, she lights up, and begs to ride on it, so I know she’d be thrilled to take a bus to school. Or would she? When the reality hits, will she be scared to death to climb aboard?

When I consider the tuitions, I lean towards the place with the shiny new computer center. It’s incredibly large and modern, with so many fabulous amenities, and it’s almost the same price as the smaller, older place. But maybe the smaller school will be warmer and more appealing to Jayda…and the bigger place will seem overwhelming? I’m really not sure. I want to do what’s best for my child…and I simply want her to thrive. But I also want her to be comfortable at her new school. It’s a tough call…especially when I know Jayda’s still very happy at her present daycare center…and probably would continue to be so for awhile.

I guess I can liken this scenario to my workouts at the gym. I’m comfortable doing the same old workout every day: I know what to do, I’m good at it, and I feel pretty happy afterwards. But when I force myself out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to do completely different exercises, ultimately, I’m always thrilled with the results. No matter which school I choose for Jayda, big or small, I’m going to be pushing her out of her comfort zone: A new place, new people, and new things to learn will probably seem scary at first. But change is good—especially for a smart little girl who thrives when challenged. And now it’s up to me to make that change for her. I just wish it was easier!

Back-to-School Makes Parents Want to Sing! by Cara Meyers

Many of you may remember the Staples commercial several years back. It showed a man riding on a shopping cart, tossing school supplies for his children into the cart, as the cart flew down the isles. In the background of the commercial, the holiday song, “It’s the MOST wonderful time of the year!,” was playing and this man’s face was filled with glee with his children scowling as they shuffled behind him! I don’t even think I had a child at that time, but that commercial stuck with me and now resonates with me since my son is going back to school, entering first grade today!
I have also been hearing about and seeing internet postings of some of the most bizarre school supply requests you could possibly imagine! (Contac Brand CLEAR contact paper anyone?). So I just had to write my own silly version of a different holiday song, tying the remembrance of the Staples commercial in with some of the most incomprehensible school supply lists I have seen!

In honor of all the parents who are sending their children back to school today and are actually thankful that school is back in session, I have taken the liberty to modify a different holiday song. I dedicate it to my son, who is returning back to school today too.
(To be sung to the tune of “A Partridge in a Pear Tree):

Before the first day back to school, my teacher sent to me,
a letter with supplies I’d need:

12 #2 sharpened pencils, (Dixon brand; please sharpen at home EACH DAY)
11 pens for writing (Bic brand suggested, blue, black, red and green)
10 colored markers (in original colors only, please)
9 sticky glue sticks (30 gm size only)
8 spiral notebooks (8 mm ruled, 70-100 sheets each)
7 sets of crayons (only Crayola brand!)
6 EXPO dry erase chisel tip markers (Low odor/darker colors)
5 DIFFERENT COLOR 2 POCKET FOLDERS!
4 erasers (Sanford Magic Rub brand only, in white)
3 bottles of glue (Elmer’s ONLY, 4 oz., no larger)
2 art smocks (made from cutting up 2 of Daddy’s button-down shirts - sorry Daddy!)
and
ONE BIG BULGING BACKPACK!!

So, to my son, I say, I love you and enjoy your first day back! And to all of the other children starting back to school today, have a great first day of school! I know I will!

Adulthood

The school year will soon come to a close. Amazing. Seth will be a kindergarten graduate before I blink my eyes.

This coming week is the orientation for the school he will enter in the fall. It's way larger than where he currently attends and feels so adult to me. How will it feel to him? It's hard to imagine my little guy...who's now really quite the big boy...navivating the long halls and staircases and continuing to create a life for himself separate and distinct from me.

But, isn't that what parenting is really all about? We moms do our best so our children can fly.

We've started a new routine in the house. I pick out Seth's clothes in the evening, or he chooses them in the morning, and then dresses himself. It saves time as we inevitably rush to prepare for the school bus, and it's one more step toward autonomy. Some days he takes the initiative. Other days, I help him. It's still kinda nice to be needed in that way.

Next week we are starting a major demolition/construction project in the house of our basement. A Bob the Builder wannabe when he's not aspiring to be a Rescue Hero or Power Ranger, Seth is chomping at the bit to get out his tool kit and go at it. The contractor said he'd take him under his wing, and Seth is totally thrilled and counting the days.

I, on the other hand, am counting the days this project will be complete. It's been 9 months in the making since we signed with the contractor who is much in demand. But, the end result will be worth it. Seth will have a fantastic playspace in the basement that he can grow into and use with friends even as a teenager. I look forward to regaining my living room and relocating the bulk of his toys downstairs. But, until completion day, there will be much stress and mess. And, workers daily in my house, which I don't embrace.

I was speaking with a friend earlier this week about life. A pretty broad subject to say the least. We were agreeing how sometimes it just feels so full and daunting. Jumping from task to task...responsibility to responsibility. So many details, things to handle, etc. I have days where I wish I weren't an adult. Know what I mean? There's something to be said, on a certain level, for being taken care of when things feel overwhelming.

I hope Seth enjoys his childhood to the fullest and doesn't wish the years away before he grows up. He speaks about his adult aspirations, i.e. having a wife and family and SUV with a television and living in our house (he would like us to move out when he's grown up so he can have it) and be a fireman or some other profession where he can help people.

Though at age 6, he likes to do things for himself, there are times when no one does it like a mom. And, I'm glad to be there for him. He'll be "my little guy" forever in my heart.

School Break Crunch

Today was so sweet.

I went to Seth's Kindergarten class and read two books to the students. Seth was totally excited to have me there. He sat on my lap while I read and helped turn the pages of the books. I chose one book re: conserving energy, in keeping with Earth Day. And, the other was a title after Seth's own heart re: firetrucks and other vehicles doing their job and then turning in at the end of a busy work day. It was truly a tender moment that I'd love to capture. I did capture it in my heart and hope to preserve it there.

I find moments like this especially heartfelt and vital to my mom sanity because starting tomorrow, Seth will be off for the next week and a half from school, and I'm already feeling parenting pressure. What a difference a day can make. One day school, the next day, fulltime mommyhood. Keeping him busy and content 24/7 is no easy feat.

We are going away for part of the time to Vermont, but until then, my husband is still working late at present due to tax season, which has proven so taxing for all of us.

And, later this week is Passover, and we're having my dad and Marc's mom here for dinner. We weren't up to major entertaining. Just too much work, and it's never been my style, though I do appreciate being invited to someone else's home, and I enjoy being with other people, and not just family, for holidays.

I've been anticipating this school break for weeks now. Being Seth's official social coordinator, I've taken care to book playdates and explore local activities we might pursue. I'm even trying to schedule a gym workout for him...he loves going to my gym where he's learning boxing and martial arts. And, it's great for him. He's in his element there.

As a result...I find myself particularly conscious of my time today since I know I won't be able to get much done in the next week and a half workwise...and we also have to pack at some point.

I wish it felt like a vacation to me too this school break.

Don't get me wrong. I am grateful to be able to sleep later and not rush to put Seth on the school bus in the morning. And, I do value my time with him, but it can get tiring, depending on his mood and willingness to chill a bit...which rarely happens. I'm not keen on plopping him in front of the tv for hours. Luckily the weather is getting a bit better here, though it's a rainy week this week. If we can get to the park one day, that would be nice. I like being outdoors and see it as a chance to clear my own head.

I adore Seth, and he's truly a little gem, but I'm being honest....these rather long school breaks make me feel like I need a vacation afterwards. Hmmmm.....perhaps it's time to schedule a foot massage when Seth resumes school? (Something to look forward to.)

Hanukkah..and Holiday Time

We celebrate Hanukkah, and Seth is obsessed with the fact that it's eight nights.

Now that he is learning numbers and counting in school, he can keep track, and each day after school asks if he's getting another present.

We did buy a few for him...not big ones....but it's the idea that he is waiting with baited breath for them that concerns me.

I know he's just 5, and who wouldn't want to get presents. But, how much is overkill? And, he got from grandpa, grandma and his cousins. Is it possible for him to even appreciate them all?

Today, we're actually going to give him a Chia pet. It's kind-of a quirky present, but I like the idea that it's not yet another toy. It's a cool plant that he can be reponsible for.

Yesterday they had a holiday party at his Kindergarten class. It was so cute and heartfelt. You could see the teachers really love the kids and were so joyous about celebrating with them and the parents that attended. It was quite touching.

He's off from school starting tomorrow, and we have many plans on tap for the school break.

I'm taking him to some kids shows at our local library and have get togethers scheduled with friends, with and without kids. Seth is so psyched about having a vacation, even though we're not going away. And, I'm glad to be staying home too. As long as the weather holds up, and there's no more snow in the next week or so, we'll be good. Seth, of course, loves to play in it, but mommy doesn't like to drive on icy roads, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Santa won't bring us a white Christmas. (Sorry to those who are hoping for one.)

I wish you and your family a very happy, healthy holiday season!!

Snow Day

I was totally unprepared for today.

I live in New York and had heard the forecasts re: the impending snow storm.

I ran all over town yesterday doing errands....the drug store...bank....supermarket, etc., so we'd be well stocked with necessities, mostly for Seth.

Then the phone rang at 6AM this morning. I jumped out of my skin because I don't wake up that early, and we don't get calls that early, so I thought G-d forbid, had something happened to my senior dad, or my mother-in-law, who broke her wrist just a week ago?

Luckily, neither was the case. It was a recorded message from the school district announcing that today was a snow day and that the children would not be attending kindergarten. It hadn't started snowing at that point, but this was in anticipation of what was to come.

So...now what? I thought. I didn't plan any at-home activities for Seth and I. And, I wasn't about to go driving around in the snow. I'm not comfortable with that. They never plow the streets well or quickly in my neighborhood.

So, what to do with a busy 5 year old boy who every 5 minutes asks, "What are we doing today?"

Out came the gingerbread mix that had been sitting in the pantry.

We baked a gingerbread man and made a house. Ok...they both came out looking like pancakes, but it was the effort that counted.

We later made popcorn and watched a DVD.

Seth shoveled outside twice. So, we had two changes of clothing, and outerwear, since he was getting soaked each time.

In between, I hustled to do work, answer emails, tape a radio interview, etc. All the while, watching Seth closely out the window and applauding his shoveling efforts.

Finally, as he continued to climb the walls back inside, we gave in, and allowed him to open his Hanukkah present from grandpa early. It was a Black 'n Decker kids tool station. I'm not sure what Seth loved more. Playing with the tools, or installing the batteries to get it in working order. He's such a boy!

Before you knew it, time passed, as it always does so quickly. Marc came home from work, we ate dinner, and now they're both outside shoveling, as I quickly write this blog post.

All in all, today was a nice bonding day with Seth. But, I must admit, next time I suspect that a snow day might be in store, I'm going to try to do some advanced activity planning, as best I can.

A Sandwich Generation Day: Cycles of Life

I have blogged on this subject before, and at the risk of being redundant, I feel the need to share my experiences of yesterday.

I am calling it a true "Sandwich Generation" Day. And, I wonder if you can relate. I'd love your feedback and to hear your experiences if you'd like to share.

Like many, I'm sorry to see summer come to an end. We had such a blast at our community pool, and I will really miss it.

Not only do I find the change of season a bit challenging, but yesterday, and this whole week, for that matter, I find myself in a somewhat conflicted emotional state.

Seth started Kindergarten today, and I took him to meet his teacher and to see the classroom and classmates. It feels surreal that he has hit this stage of his education. He loved the school, and got particularly thrilled when he asked the teacher if they go on class trips. She said yes, and the first trip is to a firehouse. Well...she couldn't have said anything better for Seth. Firehouses are his most favorite place in the world.

I am both excited for him and a little melancholy that he is growing up so fast. Part of me likes that there are more and different experiences we can have together, yet I like to cuddle with my little buddy.

It just gets me thinking about how fast time goes in general, and the cycles of life.

After returning from Seth's school, we met my dad at the diner for lunch. He was celebrating his 90th birthday! G-d bless him. I am so eternally grateful to have my dad in my life, despite his health challenges and not feeling up to par. I lost my mom 10 years ago, so his presence in my family's life is all the more treasured. And, my sister and I are planning a surprise birthday luncheon for him this Saturday, with family and friends. I want to savor our time together.

Such major milestones in the life of my son and dad this week!

Leaves me with a lot to think about. But, since I am the queen of overthinking, I'm keeping myself busy so I'm not too alone with my thoughts. The last thing I want to do is get teary eyed, though sometimes a good cry is the best release.

I am both sad and happy. I want to take note and rejoice in each upbeat moment and not let my emotions get the better of me.

Have you ever felt this way?

GRADUATION BLUES

Seth's pre-K graduation was today, and it was close to being a disaster.

We arrived early, with my dad and Marc's mom in tow, since parking is super hard by the school, and we wanted to get a prime view for the event.

Seth was totally thrilled to see us, and was excited in general about the festivities.

More and more people arrived, and the teachers prepared. The children, Seth's fellow classmates, were asked to take their seats. All did, but Seth.

He clung to my neck with a mighty grip and wouldn't let go. He refused to take his place and started to cry. I lifted him and tried to place him in his chair, and he wouldn't loosen his gorilla-like grip.

One of the teaching aides came over and took him from me, and let him sit on her lap. He didn't love that, but went along with it, and eventually sat in his seat. But, he refused to sing any of the songs. Wouldn't smile. Made some small hand gestures to the music,as did the other kids. But, all without any enthusiasm.

I was stunned, and I thought Marc was going to totally lose it. He was already running through his mind ways to punish him back home.

Seth was not only not smiling but he looked like he was in a daze. This glassy eyed, teary look.

I spoke to his teacher afterwards who said that maybe he got scared by all the people there.

Another person from the school offered the perspective that perhaps Seth, who always enjoys being the center of attention, decided he'd get more focus by being the one child who looks miserable.

Hmmmm....would he actually think that?! I'm not so sure.

My dad and Marc's mom felt awful, and it put a total damper on the whole experience. Marc was in charge of video taping it, and it almost felt like we shouldn't bother. Who wants to remember the occasion as such a downer?!

His teacher said we shouldn't make too much of it, as sometimes kids get intimated or whatever. A mom we are friendly with offered that her daughter once got shellshocked on stage during a school performance, and stood frozen....so we should grin 'n bear it, basically.

But, should we really?

Marc & I feel that we need to teach Seth that this was totally unacceptable.

So....he will have no dessert, pizza, or soft drinks for a week...and we'll see how this goes.

In the meantime, what should have been joyous and maybe even emotional, was riddled with anger, angst and disappointment. We were so looking forward.

Oh well...I guess it's just part of the unpredictability of our kids and the parenting experience. Best to let go of expectations. But, I still can't help but be letdown, and happy in a sense that this day will pass.

Did that every happen to you? When you were so looking forward to something with your child and it turned out to be a total bust for reasons you may never understand?

The Half Day Deal

I ask you....what is the deal with a half day in kindergarten?

Seth starts this coming fall, and he will have either two or three days when he only goes for three hours. He is in pre-K now, and goes for five hours.

We are not happy about this.

He will be going to a different school, come fall, and unless we want to send him to a private school, this is the way it will be.

He's been in nursery and now pre-K from 9AM - 2PM since he turned 3.5, and it's been really good for him. He's learning, socializing, growing, etc....in ways that I have to imagine he wouldn't were he home during those hours. Although, when I was a kid, I didn't go to nursery school, and I turned out "ok" (I think). So, no doubt, there are different schools of thought.

But to go from more to less doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And, this isn't true of all school districts. We live in Great Neck, NY, and it's the case here.

So, now we're trying to figure out what to do with Seth when he gets home early those days. We can sign him up for individual programs elsewhere, i.e. gym, but it won't be the same continuity he'd have in a full day school program.

I'm just somewhat perplexed as to why the school here is set up this way.

How is it where you live? And, what is your feeling on full day kindergarten?

Just needed to vent............thanks for listening. :)