Seven -- by Robin

My son turned 7 this week. Time sure flies.

I went to school on his birthday to celebrate with his first grade classmates. It was very sweet. I brought ice cream cups, juice and Oreos. My mother in law came as well, and we read books to the kids. In honor of Seth, we chose two fire truck-theme stories, and he couldn't be happier.

We took photos with other students and the teachers, and I whipped out my new handy Flip camcorder to give it a try.

We hung up decorations at home and went out to dinner, where he ordered a decadent chocolate mousse dessert, and we sung to him as he blew out the candle.

I asked him the day after how it felt to be 7, and he thought about it for a second, and said "good." It made me smile.

This weekend is his birthday party, and we're looking forward to celebrating with friends. While I find party planning a bit stressful...so many details....especially since I was organizing the class visit as well....it's great to have a happy occasion to celebrate.

My last blog related to my ailing senior dad, and his return to the hospital is looming in my mind. So, this was a welcome, positive break. And, he'll be coming to Seth's party Sunday, and hopefully, even if for a short while, he can let go of his constant downbeat health-related thoughts. I was disappointed that he didn't call Seth on his birthday, but I know he's mentally caught up in his health issues, as his stent procedure is this coming Wednesday. He can't get it done fast enough, and I will once again be on edge.

It was actually nicer than I expected to have my mother in law come to Seth's class. She is a hugely judgmental person, and isn't always easy to be around in that regard. My husband and his brother were pleasantly surprised to hear that she read a book to the kids. I told him that I kinda didn't give her a choice. I handed her the book, and said "why don't you read this next book." And, she rose to the occasion, and I actually think she enjoyed the interaction with the children. For a fleeting moment, I found myself picturing her reading to my husband when he was Seth's age, assuming she did that. And, I wondered if it took her back to that place too?! Her son, my husband, will forever be her baby, as will Seth for me, even though he's growing up fast.

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY Seth! We love you high as the sky sweetie!!


PS -- It's not too late to register your kids for Winter/Spring Classes! Check out The Little Gym of Port Washington in NY. Say Motherhood Later sent you and receive a 10% discount.

Back to School -- by Jamie

This was a big week in the education-department for the Levines: Jayda started nursery school, and I registered for some important classes of my own. Both were big milestones for each of us, though Jayda’s transition was far easier than I expect my return to college will be.

Jayda has been at the same day care center since she was 3-1/2 months old. She’s always been ahead of the learning curve, and has been promoted into each of her classes at an earlier age than most of the other kids. Thus, in September, when many of Jayda’s friends (who are slightly older than Jayda) were moved up to the nursery school program, I expected Jayda would be following them. But due to classroom overcrowding and some annoying day care bureaucracy, she lagged behind for awhile. Ultimately, my daughter successfully potty trained, vastly improved her vocabulary, spent much of her time helping the younger kids in her toddler room, and, in sum, displayed what I felt was extreme readiness for nursery school. Fortunately, by the holidays, my relentless hounding of the school’s director finally reaped success, and to my relief, Jayda became the only child allowed to transition to nursery school in January.

Jayda’s first day in nursery school was drama-free for both of us. She took to the ground running—literally—and leapt out of my arms, shouting, “Mommy—LEAVE!” as she ran to join her old friends, who were playing happily in her new classroom. When I came to pick Jayda up in the afternoon, her new teacher informed me that Jayda had had a terrific day, and it had seemed “like Jayda had been in nursery school forever.” As I’d suspected, Jayda’s move into nursery school had been long overdue, and she’d been more than ready to get started there.

I, on the other hand, am likely to have more trouble adjusting to my new classes. I received a B.A. in Communication from the University of Michigan in 1991, and never imagined I’d be going back to college at almost-40-years-old. For more than 15 years, I worked in children’s publishing—as a writer, a school book club editor, a marketer, and a buyer—and have always loved my career. But sadly, as the result of corporate downsizing, I found my job eliminated a year ago. Freelance writing and consulting have kept me financially afloat, but I’m no longer fulfilled by my daily work, nor do I have the job stability I need as a single mother. After much soul-searching, I’ve decided to pursue grad school, specifically for Speech Pathology—a career that would profit from my occupational experiences and strengths, and provide the job-flexibility and salary I need to raise my daughter.

However, I can’t just take the GREs, apply to grad school, and get started on a second career. First, I must fulfill several Speech Pathology-related undergraduate prerequisites. And before I could even register for those classes, I had to apply to (and be admitted to) a special university program. Fortunately, I was accepted to the program at Queens College, and this past week, I met with an advisor to help me select my classes. At this late date (classes start at the end of January), most of the classes I needed were closed, and I was only able to get into two. But that’s a start. And what with commuting to Queens from Long Island twice a week, continuing my freelance work (I still need to bring in as much money as possible), and taking care of my daughter, I guess that’s enough to get my feet wet.

Because I’m a “planner,” it has been my natural inclination to map out my “school plan”—to consider all the work I’ll be doing for my classes, as well as the time I’ll need to spend schlepping back and forth to the campus. But not everything involved with going back to school at my age is so easy to predict. It’s been a long time since I’ve had to listen to a lecture, take copious notes, or study for a test. When it comes to being a student, I’m out of practice—as well as out-of-the-loop in regards to modern-day college practices. Even applying to school this time was a novel experience for me: When I applied to Michigan, I typed out my application and essays on an electric typewriter—and mailed a check to the school. This time, I applied online and simply entered my credit card number. A lot has changed in two decades.

This week, while I waited for my appointment with my advisor at Queens College, I sat in a waiting room with other prospective students, who, technically, were young enough to be my children. And that’s going to be an interesting experience, too. Things may be different in grad school, but right now, while I’m taking my undergraduate classes, I’ll be sharing lecture halls and assignments with young men and women who are literally half my age. And that will definitely be an adjustment—for me and for them, I’m sure. I’m fairly certain none of them will be juggling their studies with mother- or fatherhood, and I’ll be a novelty.

The other day, I told Jayda I was going back to school, and she got very excited about it. She wondered, “Is it a big school?”—like the elementary school we pass on the way to her day care center—and asked, “Will you be going on a school bus?” which is her own personal fantasy. And, of course, she asked if she could “come, too.” There is actually a nice playground outside the Speech Pathology department office building, and I may bring her there to check it out in the spring. While my time at school certainly won’t be full of fun and games like Jayda’s nursery school adventures, hopefully it will still be a positive experience. And I may as well show Jayda some of the fun that can be involved, since nothing—including going back to school—is a solo venture for me anymore.


Back in September, Jayda and I appeared on a local cable TV show in a segment about SMCs. If you’d like to check it out, here are the YouTube links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehgwxZfhNL8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYEavdyFDUM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ9aaxXA_TA

Yearning for BFF Times -- by Robin

I am SO looking forward to the weekend.

My good friend, Debbie, who I don't get to see too often since we live a distance apart, is coming to stay with us for a night with her two kids. Though older than Seth, he loves playing with them. And, I am psyched for the time with Debbie.

One of the things that I miss a lot is quality time with close girlfriends (my BFFs...best female friends). Since becoming a mom and no longer working in the city, I don't have access to some as I used to. Debbie and I, back in our single days, both worked in Manhattan and would often socialize together after work or at the very least get in a healthy dose of exercise as we walked to the subway or bus together, enroute to our homes. She lived on Long Island, and I in Queens. And, we'd spend ample time on the weekends on the phone dishing about our week and making weekend plans.

Things are different now.

She lives in New Jersey, and I live on Long Island. For years, we always joked that when we each (hopefully) got married one day, we'd buy homes next to each other or at least nearby.

That didn't happen.

She met a guy from New Jersey, so they wound up settling there. And, I met a guy originally from Queens who was living in Great Neck, NY, so we wound up in Great Neck. We lived in a 1 bedroom apartment at first and when it came househunting, we didn't just look in Great Neck. We toured Rockland, Westchester, CT, other areas of LI and even NJ. I originally thought if we at least lived in NJ, even if not far out, I could get relatively close to Debbie....or at least there wouldn't be a bridge between us.

We wound up putting a bid on a house in Glen Rock, NJ that was accepted, but it led to my having a totally sleepless night. I woke up the next day and realized we had made a big mistake. I didn't want to move to New Jersey. I hated the George Washington Bridge. There's always major traffic on it, and I knew that if I were to ever drive to LI, NYC or Queens (where my dad lives), I would not be a happy camper. So, we revoked the offer, and the homeowner was totally understanding. I knew at that moment that Debbie and I would likely never become next door neighbors or even live in the same state.

Since I no longer work in the city, I've endeavored to make friends in the suburbs. And, since becoming a mom, I've made a constant effort to befriend other moms. But, being moms isn't enough to cement a true, meaningful friendship. You have to connect on a level beyond that. I do think it's possible, but it doesn't happen overnight, as my mom friend Jeri says.

There is something to be said for having history with a BFF. Debbie knew me back in my single days. She knew my mom (who has passed away). She understands what my upbringing was like. Where I grew up. What I used to wear. When I first permed my hair. What pushes my buttons, so to speak, etc, etc. And, she's not afraid to "tell it like it is" if I'm venting about something. She helps keep me "real" in that regard....kinda like a dose of tough love that you may not want to hear but you know you need to listen.

And, don't we all need at least one friend like that?! Someone who isn't afraid to say something even if it might not sit right with us. Someone who can ruffle your feathers, but you know they're coming from a truly sincere place of wanting only what's best for you. Someone you could call at 2AM, and they wouldn't hang up. Someone who will let you talk 'n talk and not expect anything in return. There's no hidden agenda. No walking on eggshells. No questioning if they like you or not....or if it's just about a play date for the kids....or for professional networking reasons. You genuinely connect on a kindred spirit level.

I'm grateful to have time (even though it will be fleeting this weekend) with Debbie. I'm glad we've managed to stay close all these years and to share the ups 'n downs of life. She's one of the most grounded women I know (her upbringing was a challenging one), and we always have a good time. It takes me back to the days when life seemed simpler. Uncertain...yes......since we were both single and wondered how things would turn out. Now that we have a sense of that at least for today, we can laugh as we look back on the things we used to worry about. They have since been replaced by an entirely different set of concerns.

Life is an ever-evolving journey, and the more we get to share it, the better.

School Approaching - by Robin

Where does the time go?

School will be here before you know it, and it's first grade for Seth.

Everyone says it's much more demanding than kindergarten. That remains to be seen. I'm crossing my fingers the homework isn't daunting.

It's been so nice having him come home from camp and just being able to chill. Some of the biggest challenges were creating a funky hairstyle for him for Wacky Wednesday and picking clothes in black 'n red for checkerboard day.

The whole after school homework thing is such a challenge for everyone.

And, now we're giving thought to after school activities.

There is no after class program for first graders at the school. So, two days we have enrolled him in a dropoff program similar to day care. But, what about the other days? Should we consider Hebrew School? (He has no interest in that.)

Two other mom friends have broached the subject of martial arts.

Another mentioned tennis.

How much and what to do? And, all this taking into consideration the demands of school itself.

We're not rushing into signing him up for anything as yet, but I do feel like I'd like to have a potential gameplan in mind.

I don't want to be one of those overscheduling moms. Kids need ample time to chill. But, it's tempting to sign them up for programs that seem cool, especially if their friends are doing it. I don't buy into the whole "keeping up with the Jones parenting thing," but it is easy to be influenced.

So, as I call up karate places, kids gyms, synagogues, etc. , we'll see what jumps out at us and Seth. If he had his way, he'd be happy staying home and watching Sponge Bob for hours after doing homework.

Pool Life Lessons - by Robin Gorman Newman

I'm so proud of Seth.

He passed the deep water swim test at camp this week, and it meant so much to him and all of us. We're going to go out for a celebratory dinner tonight. He didn't pass the first time, and I so admire his persistence and desire to make it happen. I don't think he ever doubted that eventually he would get there. He has the right attitude, and I hope he can ultimately apply it in all areas of his life.

We've been spending a lot of time at our local pool, in addition to him swimming at his day camp, and he's made huge progress. It's amazing to watch his development. From one day to the next, things he wouldn't do last week, he's now doing without fear, projecting total confidence. It's an inspiration.

I am learning to do laps myself this summer. Working on my breathing now, which has been a challenge. But, I know I'll get there.

Yesterday in the pool, I was speaking with a veteran swimmer who comes religiously the same time each day to swim for at least half an hour. I watch him with awe and aspire to follow in his swim strokes one day. We don't usually talk because he swims as if on a mission. But this time, we chatted a bit as he came up for air, and we got on the subject of kids and how it's ideal to learn to do certain things when you're young. Granted, not that I'm old at 48, but as he pointed out, the older you are, the more you might be riddled with fear. And, he's right. I don't have a comfort level in the deep water, though I'm working on it. And, I don't envision ever jumping off a diving board....though I never say never.

But, it's not just about swimming.

It's amazing how kids fully embrace most new experiences, and as adults, we might sometimes hem 'n haw over them, wondering how they fit into our expectations of what we think the experience will be like. And, if you're like me, it's so easy to over think a situation. And, nothing will instill more fear in you than what you conjure up before even embarking on the experience. You could love it and be totally surprised. If you had asked me a few years ago if I'd ever put my face in the water, I would have answered with a resounding "no."

I don't expect to learn to ski at this point in my life. Nor, do I have the desire.

I don't plan to jump out of a plane.

But, I do still yearn for new experiences. It's never too late to learn.

Perhaps snorkeling?

Taking an acting class?

Hmmm...what else?

What do you think about learning or trying something new at this point in your life?

One of my single love coaching clients told me this week that she might sign up for a tarot card reading class in the fall.

That sounds intriguing.

The possibilities for learning are endless.

Another mom I know is studying the Torah.

New experiences help keep life fresh.

I'm wondering what's next on my learning agenda.

How about you?

Show I Recommend -- Gazillion Bubble Show

GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW CELEBRATES ITS 3RD “UNBUBBLELIEVABLE” YEAR OFF-BROADWAY At New World Stages in NYC

GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW continues to amaze audiences with its mind blowing bubble magic at New World Stages (340 W. 50 Street in NYC). A family affair, GAZILLION BUBBLE SHOW features Guinness World Record Holders Fan, Ana or Jano Yang.

The show is the first and only interactive stage production of its kind, complete with outstanding light effects, lasers, rousing music and jaw-dropping masterpieces of bubble artistry. The grand finale floods the theatre with an incredible laser display and wave after wave of light-catching bubbles. It is "awesome"....to quote my son.

I recently saw it with Seth (age 6), and he got a huge kick out of jumping out of his seat, trying to catch the bubbles. It was great to take him to a show where he didn't have to stay put, keep quiet, etc. It was an intriguing interactive experience on many levels and quite memorable.

I, myself, was mesmerized with the pulsating streams of colored lights, music and bubbles. I actually found it surprisingly tranquil and relaxing at points....as if I was being transported under the water...between the special effects and the wetness of the bubbles surrounding you, touching you, etc.

I enjoyed it much more than I ever anticipated, and highly recommend it. It's a real treat and feast for the eyes and senses.

And, it was amusing. Kids were selected from the audience and brought on stage, and it was fun to watch their reaction. It felt like one big party. I often found myself saying "wow."

Tickets may be purchased thru Telecharge at 212.239.6200 or at www.telecharge.com.
Running time is 80 minutes, no intermission.

Visit www.gazillionbubbleshow.com to check it out.

Guest Post -- By Terry Starr

Odd Oldie Out

Being the oldest mom in pre-school could at times feel a little like "odd oldie out" and only got tougher entering kindergarten/elementary. This was not something I realized at the time, but there were definitely some pre-conceived notions. Couple this with the fact that I worked full-time and let's just say it took me 5 solid years to find a group of women that I adore and respect. Even today, I am the oldest mom in my wonderful circle of friends and still take a bit of a ribbing at every 'girl's night out birthday celebration'...but, I truly believe in the adage, "You're as young as you feel" because ironically today people constantly mistake me for at least a decade younger.

Having kids later in life certainly has its advantages. My hubby and I were in a pretty stable (financial) position when we had our kids (I was 37 with the first and 41 with the second). Ahh, of course, these days I can't claim anything stable [given our economic climate]. It was a little tougher physically to have our kids this late, but for me, focusing on first establishing my career and then having a family has worked out well. My only word to the wise is that it can be difficult for women to have children as late as I did. And that's a scary thought. In my case, I didn't meet the right man until I was 35 years old...and so the story goes.


Terry Starr, 50, is Co-Founder, www.MYWorkButterfly.com, a site/community whose mission is to provide advice, support and solutions for mothers contemplating a comeback career. She is pictured here with her 13 year old daughter Danielle.

Hanukkah..and Holiday Time

We celebrate Hanukkah, and Seth is obsessed with the fact that it's eight nights.

Now that he is learning numbers and counting in school, he can keep track, and each day after school asks if he's getting another present.

We did buy a few for him...not big ones....but it's the idea that he is waiting with baited breath for them that concerns me.

I know he's just 5, and who wouldn't want to get presents. But, how much is overkill? And, he got from grandpa, grandma and his cousins. Is it possible for him to even appreciate them all?

Today, we're actually going to give him a Chia pet. It's kind-of a quirky present, but I like the idea that it's not yet another toy. It's a cool plant that he can be reponsible for.

Yesterday they had a holiday party at his Kindergarten class. It was so cute and heartfelt. You could see the teachers really love the kids and were so joyous about celebrating with them and the parents that attended. It was quite touching.

He's off from school starting tomorrow, and we have many plans on tap for the school break.

I'm taking him to some kids shows at our local library and have get togethers scheduled with friends, with and without kids. Seth is so psyched about having a vacation, even though we're not going away. And, I'm glad to be staying home too. As long as the weather holds up, and there's no more snow in the next week or so, we'll be good. Seth, of course, loves to play in it, but mommy doesn't like to drive on icy roads, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Santa won't bring us a white Christmas. (Sorry to those who are hoping for one.)

I wish you and your family a very happy, healthy holiday season!!

40 Something Mom Memory

How is yours?

Your memory...that is.

This morning, I received a copy of an email newsletter I subscribe to, and they featured an article on this very subject. It came across my computer screen at a timely moment, as I prepare to go out of town and am hustling to remember/tackle all that I need to do before I leave.

I also find this a topic of discussion with other moms my age. Do you?

Since I turned 40, my memory is just not as sharp.

Thankfully I've always been detail-minded, but I find it's even more necessary now. And, there are times when I feel like I have to pick up the slack for others who struggle to keep track because they don't have a system.

For example, I was at the gym the other day and needed to change my workout appointment with my trainer. She asked if I could call her the day before to remind her of the time change. I thought....now not only do I have to write the new time in my calendar, but I have to include a note to myself to call her. That's double memory duty for me. Yet, I knew if I didn't do it, I couldn't count on her to remember. And, she makes no excuses for her lack of effort to remember. She just kids me about being so organized.

But, isn't that a good thing?!

How do people...especially multi-tasking "later" moms...function without some level of organization?

And, believe me, I'm far from perfect in this arena. One look at my home office with all its piles would tell you so. But, I make a point of carrying my datebook with me to record appointments on the spot. And, I have an on-going TO DO list that comes with me as well, so I can add items as they occur to me. And, I've been known to email a note to myself on my Blackberry when it's something I need to take care of workwise.

If I didn't do this, I wouldn't know whether I'm coming or going, personally or professionally.

And, we have a large calendar at home where I record appointments that relate to our family, i.e. upcoming kids parties, school holidays, theatre tickets, etc.

It works for us. Our household/lives needs some semblance of order, and I'm the designated keeper, like it or not. Someone's gotta do it.

Is it you in your home?

Do you find that you're more on top of things than other moms/people in general, or is it a challenge for you to keep track of all that life brings?

There certainly is a lot to handle, and it feels like more 'n more the older I get. Understandably, one can easily get overwhelmed with life's minutia. But, how can we even attempt to tackle it all with grace if we can't keep track of it?

Have you created a system for yourself and your family that works?

If so, please share your tips......

Dental Disaster

Little did I know how much my son's last physical shook him up. It shook me up at the time, since he had to get two booster shots and a blood test. Apparently this is what happens when a child turns five. He cried and cried,understandably so, but when it was over, I felt he had conquered a major hurdle and would not be needing shots for quite some time now.

Yesterday, however, proved to be a different challenge. He was scheduled for his routine six month dental cleaning. We arrived in the office, and Seth quickly proclaimed he loves coming to the dentist. Sure....that was his opinion of the waiting room. They have a super cool indoor building the kids can climb into. He can't get enough of it.

We were quickly called in to see the dentist. The dental assistant asked what flavor toothpaste he'd like his teeth cleaned with. He happily requested watermelon. Then he canvased the room, looking for the toys usually strewn about to distract the kids. There were none to be found this time for some reason.

The dentist walked in and cheerfully engaged Seth in a discussion about pre-K, his summer plans, etc. It worked for a while when Seth was in the dental chair, until he took out "the hook." The "dreaded hook." Who knew!? Seth bolted from the chair, requested a kiss from mom, and refused to return to the chair. He started crying, explaining that he is afraid of "the hook."

I was stunned. This never happened before.

The hook tool is used by the dentist to lightly tap on/check Seth's teeth for cavities. The dentist, himself, proclaimed Seth's teeth looked fine, but this was standard procedure. It's used on adults too to scrape off tarter, etc.

I took Seth out into the hall and tried to calmly have a talk with him. My persuasion didn't work. I ultimately threatened punishment back home. No tv. No ice cream....if he didn't cooperate. He didn't care.

The dentist even suggested I sit in the chair and try to hold Seth on my lap. But, being that I recently hurt my back, I was in no position to lift or restrain Seth as he moved about and take the chance of getting further injured.

So, the doctor said we should just come back another time...and next time, his dad will take him.

I felt kinda mortified. I didn't see this coming. The dentist was very kind and reassured me that it often happens when kids turn 5. They are more aware of medical procedures and after getting so many shots, etc., they become cautious about doctor, dental visits.

I can understand that, but at the same time, certain things in life are necessary.

I'm scheduled to get my dreaded mammo/breast sonogram tomorrow. And, as much as I hate and fear it since I have "complex" breasts, it's not something I would ever skip. Do you get anxious about your mammos?

I tried to explain that to Seth, but given that he was agreeable to skipping ice cream, you can imagine that what I had to say likely when in one ear and out the other.

Have you had this experience with your child?