GOING ON TWO WEEKS NANNYLESS

My nanny left two weeks ago, and I've been counting the days, for better or worse.

I was spoiled, I admit it. We've had a nanny since Seth was born, and now I'm in a bit of culture shock. Me...do laundry? Me....cook? Me...make the beds?

But, really, it's for the best. It, sadly, ended in a more dramatic fashion that I ever would have imagined. And, it wasn't planned. But, it was a long time in the coming.

Our nanny wasn't well suited to Seth anymore. She is wonderful with babies who she can love and care for. But, for a busy five year old, he's more than she could handle on a daily basis. And, I understand. I'm 48 and peri-menopausal. Some days he knocks me out too, but he's my son...it's not a job I get paid to do.

We've all been adjusting. I feel like I'm racing the clock more these days since I have no flexibility with my schedule as I did before, since she was live-in.

But, we've decided to enroll Seth in an after school program for two days, starting today. I'm crossing my fingers that he'll like it. I feel like it's a good thing. More social time for him with peers. Also, probably, more exposure to germs, from what I hear...but hopefully his immune system can withstand it.

Part of me feels a bit guilty for putting him in a program after school because he won't get home until after 6PM now...a longer day than he's had. And, then we'll have homework. But, the other part of me is relieved that I have a greater chunk of time to get things done, and to hit the gym at 5pm, at least on Mondays, as I was used to. I've always been a night person and like to be out after dark.

Unfortunately, these days, my son is becoming a night person too, in that he doesn't want to sleep. He's seen monsters on 'n off since the nanny left. My guess is that he's feeling the loss and he's having nightmares. It's tough and sad. So, we've been reassuring him that mommy and daddy aren't going anywhere, in an effort to build back up his security. At his young age, he can't articulate all that he feels, so it's manifesting in restless nights.

I'm happy there's alot less tension in the house without our nanny. At times it felt like I had two children since they would disagree. He always loved her, but didn't learn to respect her since she never disciplined him. She always just wanted to be loved.

So, I wish our nanny well, and I know that we'll all get used to the new situation. Letting go is part of growth, and we're working on that a lot in my house these days.

A Sandwich Generation Day: Cycles of Life

I have blogged on this subject before, and at the risk of being redundant, I feel the need to share my experiences of yesterday.

I am calling it a true "Sandwich Generation" Day. And, I wonder if you can relate. I'd love your feedback and to hear your experiences if you'd like to share.

Like many, I'm sorry to see summer come to an end. We had such a blast at our community pool, and I will really miss it.

Not only do I find the change of season a bit challenging, but yesterday, and this whole week, for that matter, I find myself in a somewhat conflicted emotional state.

Seth started Kindergarten today, and I took him to meet his teacher and to see the classroom and classmates. It feels surreal that he has hit this stage of his education. He loved the school, and got particularly thrilled when he asked the teacher if they go on class trips. She said yes, and the first trip is to a firehouse. Well...she couldn't have said anything better for Seth. Firehouses are his most favorite place in the world.

I am both excited for him and a little melancholy that he is growing up so fast. Part of me likes that there are more and different experiences we can have together, yet I like to cuddle with my little buddy.

It just gets me thinking about how fast time goes in general, and the cycles of life.

After returning from Seth's school, we met my dad at the diner for lunch. He was celebrating his 90th birthday! G-d bless him. I am so eternally grateful to have my dad in my life, despite his health challenges and not feeling up to par. I lost my mom 10 years ago, so his presence in my family's life is all the more treasured. And, my sister and I are planning a surprise birthday luncheon for him this Saturday, with family and friends. I want to savor our time together.

Such major milestones in the life of my son and dad this week!

Leaves me with a lot to think about. But, since I am the queen of overthinking, I'm keeping myself busy so I'm not too alone with my thoughts. The last thing I want to do is get teary eyed, though sometimes a good cry is the best release.

I am both sad and happy. I want to take note and rejoice in each upbeat moment and not let my emotions get the better of me.

Have you ever felt this way?

POST VACATION

Wow....if I could have blogged during our vacation, it would have been such a great release, but I didn't have my compter with me.

It was great to get away, and actually had a really amazing experience. I had the opportunity to meet former President Clinton and Hillary, and to personally give President Clinton a signed copy of my book HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH(decent person). Very cool and quite surreal. It occurred to me afterwards that I should have suggested they pass it on to Chelsea, but perhaps they'll do so anyway.

Aside from this encounter, I celebrated my birthday by getting a facial and massage. As I get closer and closer to 50, it's hard to believe just how fast the years go.

And, I saw a newfound maturity of sorts in Seth this trip. He discovered the power of autonomy and exerted himself in a way I've never seen him do at home.

We vacation at Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz every summer with family members, and have been since Seth was a baby. So, I guess, having grown up there, he has such a level of comfort and familiarity, that he feels he owns the place.

It began by him, along with my 14 year old niece, requesting a copy of our room key for himself. Of course, he kept leaving it in our room, and luckily the room number wasn't on it, in case he lost it outside the room.

Marc, my husband, went home two nights during the trip for a company workshop, and I was with Seth. One of the nights, he gave me quite a fright. He had been playing with a girl a bit older than him and didn't show up to meet me when he was supposed to. I wound up searching the resort and was on the verge of contacting security, when a friend of my sister told me she saw him. Turned out he had been playing in the girl's room, which was ok, except that he didn't tell me.

We bribed Seth to attend the morning session of camp by buying him a toy fireboat he could play with at the beach. Luckily, it worked, so Marc and I could at least get some down time or hiking time in before lunch.

Seth made friends so readily this trip, including a little girlfriend, who looked and acted like a female version of him. They were so totally cute. She doesn't live in NY, so we'll see if we see them again during a future Mohonk trip. We did take photos of them together. I'm curious to see his reaction when we get the photos developed.

As mature as he was trying to act, the five year old in him also emerged. There were a couple of minor poop accidents, losses of toys, and the most unreal pee accident. We had visited Woodstock one afternoon, and bought Seth a tye dyed rock 'n roll t-shirt.

One night he was too weary to put on his pajamas, so he decided to sleep in the shirt and short. Normally we prefer he wear PJs, but went along with it this time since it was vacation.

In the morning, we got quite a colorful surprise. Seth had been so exhausted, that he didn't go to the bathroom before he fell asleep. So, he had a pee accident during the night. When he woke up, the sheets of his bed were blue and purple, from the original white. The dye from the t-shirt had run and colored everything, including his stomach and arms. Just unreal!

We had a tye dye mess.

We threw Seth in the bathtub and scrubbed away, and quickly soaked the t-shirt and hung it in the shower stall, as it dripped further shades of blue and purple.

We were relieved, in a sense, that it happened at the hotel, since our sheets at home are patterned and we would not have been able to bleach out the colors.

So, I'd say our trip was quite eventful in more ways than one. While it's great to get away, it's good to be back home too.

Back in the Dark Ages

Had a frustrating day today.

Came off a nice weekend and had hoped for a good chunk of productivity before Seth returned from pre-K today.

Well...you've no doubt heard the expression....we make our plans, and G-d makes his. Today was one of those days.

I was in the kitchen just about done heating up my lunch, thankfully, when everything blew. All power got zapped in the house. This is our second electrical outage in two weeks. WAY too many by my standards!

As a work-at-home mom, this threw my whole day out of whack. As someone who relies heavily on computer usage, particularly email, I was no longer in constant communication (maybe this is a good thing?!). I could still access email on my Treo phone, but it's not the same as having my lap top.

Luckily the phones still worked. And, it got me thinking. In a way, I felt like I was living back in the dark ages, and it made me uneasy.

What did we do before computers? We relied on phones, and there is something to be said for that.

As a 40 something mom, I did not grow up with computers. It is different for Seth. While just 5, he already knows how to operate my computer on a basic level. It's truly amazing. It is quite second nature to him.

I was speaking with another mom on the phone today, and she said I should just go with the flow. Perhaps the universe was trying to tell me something? Was this meant to be an afternoon for me to chill? To tame some of my workaholic tendencies? Maybe. But, instead it just led to immense frustration. I have never been good about turning off my work ethic.

Seth played nicely and managed to cope without his after school television fix. I was glad to see that. There is a time when families years ago didn't have tv, and they survived. Families were happy, and children thrived.

Do we have too much technology these days? I don't know...but I do know that life seems more complicated....or perhaps involved.

Does it feel that way to you?

Under the Weather

I hate to be a complainer, but here goes anyway. So, please forgive me if I sound like a broken record....but what does it take to keep yourself well as a mom?

I found out yesterday I have strep throat, and this time, I caught it from our nanny. Now, don't get me wrong. I am grateful to have a nanny, but unfortunately, she isn't great about taking care of herself, and I'm often walking around the house spraying Lysol. But, this time, it didn't work, so now I'm on antibiotic, and feeling rotten.

This caps off an already super sickly season at our home, including colds, pink eye and the stomach flu. I can't even think of the last time we have all been totally well. And, we take vitamins.

Someone said to me that it's because the weather in NY hasn't been consistently cold, enabling germs and various viral strains to circulate freely. I, personally, have no clue....but I am tired of being ill....and I'm not a fan of antibiotics. I stocked up on the yogurt, which I was told is advisable to offset the effect of antibiotics. I can't each much anyway since it's hard to swallow, so this is ideal.

The doctor said try to rest and drink a lot. Sounds good....but rest with a five year old and a husband tied up with tax season? Is he going to come to my house and play with my son?!

So now I'm trying to keep a distance from Seth and Marc, and am washing my hands constantly. I've explained to Seth over and over again that I can't come close to him. And, it's hard. I miss his hugs. But, the last thing I'd want is for him to get strep. Wow....is it painful!!

I was supposed to go to Seth's school this week and bring cupcakes to celebrate his 5th birthday, but that had to be rescheduled.

Being 40 something raging hormone mom, it's hard enough to feel 100 percent. That's a whole other story, and I've blogged about that before.

All I can say is that if the weather is a contributing factor to all this sickness, then bring on spring. I await it with open arms.