Seven -- by Robin

My son turned 7 this week. Time sure flies.

I went to school on his birthday to celebrate with his first grade classmates. It was very sweet. I brought ice cream cups, juice and Oreos. My mother in law came as well, and we read books to the kids. In honor of Seth, we chose two fire truck-theme stories, and he couldn't be happier.

We took photos with other students and the teachers, and I whipped out my new handy Flip camcorder to give it a try.

We hung up decorations at home and went out to dinner, where he ordered a decadent chocolate mousse dessert, and we sung to him as he blew out the candle.

I asked him the day after how it felt to be 7, and he thought about it for a second, and said "good." It made me smile.

This weekend is his birthday party, and we're looking forward to celebrating with friends. While I find party planning a bit stressful...so many details....especially since I was organizing the class visit as well....it's great to have a happy occasion to celebrate.

My last blog related to my ailing senior dad, and his return to the hospital is looming in my mind. So, this was a welcome, positive break. And, he'll be coming to Seth's party Sunday, and hopefully, even if for a short while, he can let go of his constant downbeat health-related thoughts. I was disappointed that he didn't call Seth on his birthday, but I know he's mentally caught up in his health issues, as his stent procedure is this coming Wednesday. He can't get it done fast enough, and I will once again be on edge.

It was actually nicer than I expected to have my mother in law come to Seth's class. She is a hugely judgmental person, and isn't always easy to be around in that regard. My husband and his brother were pleasantly surprised to hear that she read a book to the kids. I told him that I kinda didn't give her a choice. I handed her the book, and said "why don't you read this next book." And, she rose to the occasion, and I actually think she enjoyed the interaction with the children. For a fleeting moment, I found myself picturing her reading to my husband when he was Seth's age, assuming she did that. And, I wondered if it took her back to that place too?! Her son, my husband, will forever be her baby, as will Seth for me, even though he's growing up fast.

HAPPY 7th BIRTHDAY Seth! We love you high as the sky sweetie!!


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Happy Birthday, to Me... -- by Jamie

It’s my birthday today. Or, as I like to call it every year, the start of my “birthday month.” I love my birthday, and this year, as I launch a new decade, it seems like more of a reason to celebrate than ever. Weeks ago, as this milestone day was approaching, and Jayda became involved in the party planning and discussions of all the festivities, she asked me, “Are you going to be 2-1/2?” I answered, “No,” and with resounding enthusiasm, informed her, “I’m going to be FORTY!” “Wow!” she responded. But since she can only count up to 20, she really has no idea of the magnitude of this birthday. I have, however, raised her to understand how important birthdays are, in general, thanks to my own upbringing. My parents always made (and continue to make!) a huge fuss over me on my birthday, and I do the same for Jayda. My daughter knows that a birthday equals tons of attention—and is intended to be a perfect day filled with presents, fun activities, and cupcakes, of course (or, in a worse-case scenario, a sheet cake with tons of gooey icing).

When I was a child, on the night before my birthday, after I’d gone to bed, my parents would hang a string of balloons outside our house, from the front door to a tree several feet away, “announcing” my birthday to the whole neighborhood; they did this for my siblings—and for themselves, too—as it was (and still is!) a Levine-family tradition. Every year, when I woke up on the morning of my birthday, I’d look outside my window and see the balloons, and smile. It’s amazing how happy and hopeful those balloons could make a person feel—even a 40 year old.

For children, birthdays are often all about parties, presents, and treats—and who can blame them? Personally, I fondly remember going to ToysRUs with my mother and picking out all kinds of toys for myself as an annual birthday tradition. I also remember my deliciously messy make-your-own sundae parties, Carvel ice cream cakes, candy-filled piñatas, and staying-awake-all-night-long slumber parties with a houseful of giggling girl friends.

But as an adult, birthdays take on new meaning. Some people choose to ignore their birthdays; I like to embrace them. On one level, I think it’s important to acknowledge—and celebrate—having lived another year. And while it’s true this has been an unusually challenging year for me—full of plenty of ups and downs—I do still have so much to be grateful for—namely, my daughter, Jayda. It would have been heartbreaking for me to reach the age of 40 without having become a mother, and I’m so thankful I made the choices I made, and was able to have a child on my own, almost three years ago.

On a more selfish level, I simply love the idea of having one day (or one month?) out of the year that’s focused on celebrating me! Because let’s face it: I like the attention. I don’t need presents. I don’t need expensive dinners out. It’s not about money being spent on me…but really the thought that counts. I simply enjoy having people calling me, sending me cards, and wishing me “Happy Birthday!” Of course, this year, I did want a slightly bigger deal: I wanted my friends and family to “really” celebrate with me. Which is why I decided to have a party. Fortunately, my incredibly generous parents helped me organize it, and I had wonderful friends who were able to eat, drink, and be merry with me. It was a great way to kick off my birthday, which I hope will be filled with all the phone calls, emails, and attention I crave—from loved ones around the country, and the globe. I just want people to remember me—and to continue to celebrate with me—as I turn 40, and beyond. That’s all this birthday girl really needs. Because birthdays—like life—should be filled with loving friends and family, happiness, a little sugar, and a few nice surprises along the way.

Birthday Dreamin' -- by Robin

What have you dreamt about doing that you wish you could make happen?

A friend raised the question this week, as I pondered how to celebrate my birthday this summer. This summer? - you're probably saying. I know...I'm thinking WAY ahead, but time goes fast, and it is important to me. I want to mark this particular occasion in a way that feels as satisfying as possible.

Why? Because I'll be hitting yet another milestone. Reaching another decade. And, while I'm grateful, it is a bit hard to swallow, I must admit. I can't quite say it out loud yet. February 11 will be my half birthday...not that I'm counting. :)

So, what to do? How to make it a super cool occasion? One where the excitement outweighs the fact that I feel like I'm aging.

One friend suggested I consider a retreat or spa visit to Tuscany. Sounds tempting.

Another gal mentioned Prague and Berlin. I am interested in Prague. Don't know much about Berlin.

I, myself, am curious about a retreat I had read about in Sedona. But, it will be scorchingly hot there in August.

So, I bought the book 1,000 PLACES TO SEE IN THE USA AND CANADA BEFORE YOU DIE....and I'm perusing it nightly. (I should buy an edition re: overseas as well, if there is one.)

I read about an annual art show in August in Laguna Beach, CA that struck a chord. But, do I really need to go to CA for an art show? (one friend pointed out.)

The same friend suggested I might look at the website Homeaway.com where you can sublet someone's residence, thereby making it a more authentic experience than staying in a hotel. And, maybe I'd want to do that and get a place in Manhattan? she said. I had shared with her that I always regretted not having had the experience of living in the city back in my single days, and perhaps and this would satisfy that urge and curiosity?!

So, I started browsing the site and came upon on a couple of apartments that readily grabbed me. What part of town would I want to stay in? And, what's it like to sleep in someone else's bed? I'd bring my own Egyptian cotton Ralph Lauren sheets, no doubt. And, I am picky about my mattresses. I hate memory foam. I'm a pillow top kinda gal, but I wouldn't be toting my own feather bed, so I'd have to be accepting. The older I get, the more I appreciate my own creature comforts. Would I want a terrace? A gym? What else? Air conditioning for sure, in summer.

It would certainly be an adventure, and I could use that.

There are so many neighborhoods in Manhattan, each with a distinct feel. Do I have a favorite? Depends on what you want to do I guess.

I like Chelsea. I love the West Village. But, how would I want to spend my days and nights, aassuming I'd be there alone? I'd have to arrange child care with Marc, my husband, for Seth....if we can swing it. No doubt he wouldn't be entirely thrilled, but hopefully he'd respect and somewhat understand my need for this experience.

I adore theatre. I'm thinking I might want to be in the Times Square area and see lots of shows.....though some shows play downtown too....and I'm not wedded just to Broadway.

I'd like to consider taking a class. Definitely shop. Eat out. But, if I were to act as if I live there, what would my daily existance be? Certainly I'd bring my computer, as I'd want internet access. But, I wouldn't want to be on the web as much as I am now because then I'd just be in the apartment all the time and defeat the purpose of being in Manhattan.

Would I plan out my activities in advance? That would make sense. How long would I go for? A week?

It's something to think about. And, it does kinda get me excited, which is the whole idea.

Is it crazy, though, since I live in NY? Would I wish I went overseas once my birthday passes? Maybe I can just celebrate the whole year and take various trips (if we could afford it)? Now, that's a thought.

And, how would it feel if I'm in the city (or anywhere) without Seth and Marc? The point would be to reconnect with myself and a desire I've always had. I'm sure I'd miss them...but it could be a good growth experience....and hopefully we'd all appreciate each other all the more once reunited. That's not a bad thing.

Who knows?! One day, when we're empty nesters, Marc and I might get a place in the city. I do think about that. Though, there is something to be said for having a lovely community summer pool and being surrounded by trees as we are in this neighborhood. But, life in the suburbs isn't always stimulating (to me). I suppose there's no one entirely perfect place, which is why some people have summer homes.

In the meantime, one can dream, and I'll be doing a lot of that between now and August.

Stay tuned. And, feel free to share any ideas with me! Or you own personal experiences about how you've marked birthdays to make them feel extra special. I'd love to hear them.

Dedication to My Son Turning 6 - by Cara Meyers

It all began 6 years ago, on a Tuesday evening at exactly 9:20 pm - according to my watch next to my bedside. I was reading a book, a Harry Potter book in fact, thinking, “It’s okay if I start this book now, I’ll have plenty of time during maternity leave to read the rest of it while the baby sleeps.” Well, my baby had other plans. And Harry’s story was left unread.

I had a relatively uneventful pregnancy. Especially considering that I was an “older” maternity patient at 39 with my first pregnancy. I saw my high risk doctors regularly. I never developed gestational diabetes, which they all thought I was doomed to get. They also thought I was headed for pre-eclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure in a pregnant woman) since my blood pressure was slightly elevated at the start of my pregnancy. Never happened. In fact, about the only significant thing about my pregnancy (except for periodic night legs cramps which make you want to scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs as you massage the cramp out), was that I had real, but random, contractions, starting at 34 weeks gestation. The doctors wanted me to reach 37 weeks gestation so that the baby’s lungs would be fully mature, so I was placed on “modified bed rest” and went to the doctor’s office every other day to undergo fetal monitoring.

I met their goal of 37 weeks, but I wanted my son to be born closer to 40 weeks. See, his due date was 2 days before my 40th birthday. I wanted him to be my 40th birthday present. I would never need another present again for my birthday for the rest of my life! I wanted him to be IT! However, I also didn’t want him to be born ON my birthday. I wanted his birthday to be his and his alone. I didn’t want him to feel that he had to “share” his special day, even with his mother. I prayed that he was not born after me, because then the excitement of celebrating Mommy’s birthday may overshadow his own, especially at the age he is now - the grade school years. When birthdays are magical and completely eventful and young children want it to be THEIRS, and theirs alone!

My daily prayers were finally going to be answered that fateful Tuesday evening, August 5th, 2003. My own 40th birthday was 2 days away. At 9:20pm, the first of many contractions began. I didn’t wake my husband because I knew he needed the rest for the long day ahead. So I monitored, and practiced my labor breathing techniques all night long. Finally, around 5:30 am, the contractions were 5 minutes apart and I needed my husband to call the doctor. Our son was ready to be born! Oh how I prayed he would be born that day, Wednesday, August 6th!
After 23 hours of labor, 3:45 minutes before my 40th birthday, at 8:15 pm, my gift arrived! A gift like no other I have ever had or ever will have! And he came on the best day possible, the day before MY birthday!

Every year since, when I celebrate my son’s birthday, it is as if I am celebrating my own! The planning of his parties, the invitations, the party favors, the balloons!! I have not one ounce of resentment nor care that my own birthday is the one overshadowed or overlooked! This is EXACTLY what I wanted! So…to my son who will be celebrating his 6th birthday this Thursday, Happy Birthday, my precious, beautiful, amazing boy!! I love you with all my heart, and then some! My gift!

Phases of Life

My dad is turning 90 in September, and my sister and I are in discussion about planning a surprise party for him. Nothing super elaborate or large, but something special, heartfelt and memorable for all involved.

Last night, I attended a wedding for a third cousin with my dad. There I saw relatives many of whom I haven't seen in years or perhaps never met. My dad is one of 7, so there's quite a number of them on both his mother's and father's side. But, he only has one sibling living at present, a brother in Florida.

It got me thinking about the cycle of life. I am so grateful for my dad. I lost my mom over 10 years ago, and have blogged about that. And, I often wonder how long he will live (not that I want to think negatively). He has had a number of health challenges over the last few years in particular, and his age is catching up with him. I never viewed him as old. Age wasn't a factor. He's my dad, and that's what counts.

Looking at him now makes me all the more conscious of the passsge of time, and the phases we all go through.

At the wedding last night I sat next to a cousin in her 50s who was talking about aches 'n pains she never had before. And, how with each decade of life, comes wisdom and body changes. We do our best to help ourselves, but we can't control the entirety of our health.

Seeing the couple get married and knowing they're about to start their lives together, makes you realize the sweetness of life. Another couple there, cousins of my dad, said they are married over 50 years, and two beautiful sets of grandchildren were also parttaking in the wedding festivities last night.

It was so nice to be together for a happy occasion. For a while there, funerals seemed all too prevalent in my family, as I lost uncles and aunts, seemingly in clusters.

I have always found it hard to accept that losing loved ones is part of life.

When I spoke to my husband last night after getting home from the wedding (he & my son didn't attend), another phase of life presented itself and made me smile. I asked him how things went with him and my son while I was out with my dad. I had left them at our community pool, and they had dinner out.

He proceeded to tell me what a little daredevil Seth is becoming in the water. How after I left, Seth asked him over 'n over again to throw him over his shoulder into the water. And, how he and a little friend wanted to jump into the pool backwards before the lifeguard stopped them out of concern for their safety.

I thought....here my son is practically doing backflips, and my dad has his moments of struggling to walk steadily.

Aging is surely not easy, though it happens to the best of us.

I am so grateful to have an energetic spirit like Seth in my life, and hope that my dad will continue to enjoy him as well and share stories from his childhood. Maybe it will take him back to his days of youth, and I can see that spark in his eye. He, too, was once Seth's age, and the years have flown by.

40 Something Birthday Quandry

My birthday is Saturday, and I don't know how to celebrate. We leave on vacation on Sunday, so there is much to do to prepare, but I don't want to lose sight of my special day.

Growing up, I was always super sensitive about my birthdays. I recall one year my parents gave me presents in advance of my official day, and I got all upset because they came early.

This year for some reason, while I want to celebrate, I don't feel so hung up on having to do something super special. I originally thought I might go into Manhattan, shop around, and meet up with my husband and Seth for dinner. But, now I'm thinking, that maybe I'll just chill with them at our community pool and eat out some place local that I either love or have been wanting to try.

I was chatting with a mom friend about it today who said her husband has a 50th birthday approaching, and she wondered what to do. I'm not as yet at that milestone, but it got me thinking about how I'd want to celebrate when my time comes. Would I want to host a splashy affair, or celebrate in a more low key fashion? Or perhaps go on a fabulous trip, with Seth and Marc, if Seth is mature enough. He will be 7 then.

Lots to think about, and I certainly don't want to rush the years away. Part of me can't believe that one day I'll actually be 50. I don't know where the time goes. But, I do want to enjoy my time and to especially treasure Seth's younger years.

So....maybe for my birthday this year I don't need to really focus on myself. Perhaps I can enjoy the afternoon with Seth and Marc, just spending quality family time....as long as I get to pick the restaurant. I refuse to eat in Seth's favorite dinner spot, our local diner. I draw the birthday line there. And, if I do choose to indulge in dessert, I want my birthday ice cream sundae with the works...hot fudge, cherry, etc. I can burn off some calories playing around with Seth in the pool. And, no doubt I'll get more cardio on vacation, chasing him.