Dancing for Joy -- by Robin

I'm taking an acting class through the local adult ed, and it's really a challenge in more ways than one.

A novelist/playwright friend of mine in town suggested it because she knows I aspire to write a play ("Mensch: The Musical" based on my book HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH...which means decent person). She thought it could help with dialogue, etc.

I have to admit I had no idea what I was getting in to. In high school I was involved with theatre. I served as Prop Master for the production of Arsenic and Old Lace. And, when they did Anything Goes...despite not being a singer.....I auditioned and got selected as an Angel. It was fun, and I got to wear some glamorous/borderline sexy attire....a far cry from my stretch pants and t-shirts of mommyhood. I loved it. And, have always enjoyed hanging with theatre people. Theatre is one of my true loves. To this day, I can't get enough of it. And, I've taken playwriting classes which I've enjoyed, and would love to study further.

All that said, when I signed up for the adult ed acting class, I didn't know what to expect. And, what I've found is more than what I saw coming, and it's frankly....invigorating!

The instructor, who is very experienced and talented, puts a lot of effort into coming up with exercises each week, and homework assignments. This week, she brought in a CD player and announced that she was going to play the music of her rocker godson, and we were to move. Then, move more! she proclaimed. Then, respond to someone else's movement, she said. So, basically we were dancing in what, by day, is a kid's classroom. And, it felt freeing. I was not worried about being self-conscious (okay...maybe a tad). But, I didn't have much time to think about it. And, it was cool. I lost myself. It took me back to my single days when I used to go dancing (in my 20s,) wearing heels and all. Now I found myself momentarily wondering if I even remembered how to dance. How did I dance back then? Were my movements the same or close to it?

I don't go dancing anymore. It's not that I wouldn't want to (though I'm not big on wearing heels anymore). It just doesn't arise...except if we go to a wedding.

Isn't it interesting how at different phases of our life certain activities come and go?! I can understand if, as you age, physical challenges and limitations set in. But, if that's not the case, then why do we cease pursuing particular activities that we once enjoyed? Did we forget we liked them? Have we lost track of what brings us pleasure? Are we so caught up in being "busy" (whatever that means) to even think about inviting joy into our lives?

I was watching actress Kate Hudson, daughter of Goldie Hawn, interviewed on Oprah this week, talking about the upcoming movie Nine. In it, she has a big song/dance number, and while she was super nervous and doesn't consider herself a singer, she was well-trained and pulled it off with aplomb. Oprah asked her, "Are you always so joyous? Whenever you come on the show, you seem that way. " Hudson explained how she was raised to feel things deeply and then seek out the joy. What a great life lesson she got and can pass on to her young son.

How hard is it to blast the music in your own home or ipod and let loose in the privacy of your home if you like? Dance for joy. Let it rip! And, who knows what else might come up for you?

As a child, I loved to make pot holders, crepe paper flowers and other artistic items. I even remember being an entrepreneur back then and setting up a flower/pot holder stand in front of my house, in an attempt to sell my wares. I was quite crafty, and to this day, would probably enjoy crafts, but I don't allow myself the time to pursue it.

I'm so focused on productivity and life responsibility, that doing something just for fun doesn't
regularly cross my mind. I do think of things that my son would find fun. And, we have fun together. But, his idea of fun isn't always mine. And, while that's ok....I envy his ability to relish playtime and focus on that and nothing else when he'e engaged. I, on the other hand, often have racing thoughts going through my mind of all I have to or have decided I need to do/accomplish. But, what would happen if I didn't? What if I put something aside? How would that feel? I'd like to find out.

I wonder what my acting teacher will have in store next class?!

New Year....New You?

How was your new year's eve?

We chilled at home.

I'm been fighting this marathon cold and today, after being convinced by two friends, finally got myself to the ENT doctor. Turns out I need to be on antibiotic for five days. I'm so grateful I bit the bullet and went.

How often as moms do we treat ourselves as invincible? I somehow thought, as lingering as this cold has been, that it would ultimately go away. But, one of my friends reminded me that in a perfect world, that would be true, but sometimes we need a little help.

These words hit home for me.

We all need help at times, and there's nothing wrong with asking for it or even paying for it. Do you allow yourself to ask for it? Whether it's from a mate, friend, family member, stranger...etc.

There's a lot of talk about practicing self care and how important it is. And, I totally agree. But, sometimes self care isn't just about doing for ourselves. Part of that is giving ourselves permission to reach out. Seek out connections that have meaning to us. To hire poeple (if we can afford to) to help simplify our lives.

For example, we can't effectively give ourselves a massage. (I like to treat myself periodically, since I have a bad back.)

Sometimes it's a worthwhile investment to hire a cleaning woman, if your budget allows, and you choose not to spend your time cleaning your home.

I have a friend who cuts her own hair...but I don't go that route. I don't have the ability.

Spending quiet time alone can be wonderful and beneficial, but quality time with a friend (s) means a lot too.

Are you someone who suffers in silence or do you pick up the phone and call someone you can share with?

I am the supreme multi-tasker and that lends itself to burnout.

This year, I'd like to really prioritize how I spend my time and money and decide what is most important to me. What will bring happiness and fulfillment and ideally some monetary reward.

I want to appreciate myself. Honor myself. Try to get my needs met. Seek out happiness and fun more.

I'm good at playing roles, but I want to learn to step back and grant myself more balance.

I'm watching Oprah who is talking about this, and I find her very candid and inspiring. She said the "key is putting yourself back on your own to-do list." I LOVE that.

How about you? Are you on your to-do list?

Confessions of a "Later" Dad

I caught the season premiere of the Oprah Show on tv this week, and David Letterman was her guest. Broadcast specially from New York, much was made of Letterman's long-awaited appearance since he had joked for some time on his late night show about wanting to be on Oprah.

So, here they were. Two larger than life media powerhouses shooting the breeze. Letterman, who leads a very private life, for the first time that I have seen, opened up like a regular person versus someone who is "on." What I found most interesting was when the conversation pertained to his family life. Letterman, 60, along with his longtime 40 something girlfriend, is a parent to four year old Harry. He showed photos, and glowed as he spoked of him. Clearly, this is a "later" dad who never expected to become a dad, and he is super grateful for it.

What struck me was his candor. And, since you don't often hear from an "older" dad, it was refreshing. He said that one of the things he finds most challenging is the concept of "patience vs. discipline." And, I immediately thought, I know what he means.

When your child acts up, do you find yourself feeling compelled to discipline them because you don't have the patience to tolerate their behavior? This is natural....but how do you know when you might be overreacting because you're not as patient as a "younger" parent might be? Having your lifestyle changed so much by a child can't be easy for a man of 60.

Do you question your patience level? When it wears thin, does your child get a Time Out? And, do you second guess your actions?